McGiven Family Chaos

Thirsty?

2012-02-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

(Monday night I was cooking dinner and on the phone with Andrea, who has 3 kids and one on the way so she knows all about what can happen when you turn your back, distracted)

Mom, I don't like this juice.

Uh, what juice? There isn't any juuuicee...

(shirt covered in something that is not clear like water...)

This juice. I don't like it.

What are talking about? Show me please.
Ahhhh MISSY!!!!!!!!

I don't blame you Missy, I wouldn't like to drink that "juice" either.

Valentines Day (aka VD)

2012-02-14T22:31:00.000-08:00

I'm neither here nor there about Valentines Day (although I do think it's funny when people that hate it refer to it as VD, heh). I could go along with the notion that you shouldn't really need a specific day to celebrate your loved ones, that you should just show your love all the time ( not like, you know, show it in some literal way...), but I can also get on board with the idea that having a day that is all about love is just a little incentive to go all out with pda's, gifts, extra smooches or what have you.

In my eight Valentines Days with Brian there has been a moderate amount of attention paid to it - never nothing and never over the top. Which is cool with me.

Although, I do like making memories with my kids so in celebration of the day I decided we'd make some heart shaped cookies. We were all set to start when I realized there was not a single bite of butter in our house. None. How does that even happen?? Sheesh. So first thing this morning we headed to the grocery store.

Right there as we walked in the store was a giant Valentines Day area - flowers, chocolate, balloons, candy. It screamed 'Right here men that didn't plan anything earlier than the morning of, now you have to pay $20 bucks for this bouquet of flowers that was only $8 yesterday'

We wandered the store and every stand that we walked by sat perched with heart shaped boxes filled with nothing special candy at over inflated prices. Maizey wanted to pick up every single box.

Uh, no Missy, We have those same chocolates at home, it's just that they are in regular packaging and therefore you could care less about them.

The more we wandered the store, the more inadequate I started to feel. I hadn't put together packages for the kids, I hadn't even made them a card. Hell I hadn't even bought a card. For Brian either. There were no little Valentines cards to give to her friends. We hadn't done any cute crafts. Nothing. Here I was looking at all the pretty pink and red boxes and wishing I had just bought something at least. We walked to the cards and picked one out for Daddy from them and from me. Julie (you all know her, right?) (she works at the grocery store) gave Maizey a red balloon with hearts on it and seriously, I think she thought she had died and gone to heaven. She wore that sucker on her wrist like the proudest little girl you have ever seen. We got the butter and went home.

We made the cookies. We made the shit out of those cookies. We rolled dough and cut hearts, we watched at the door of the oven just to make sure everything was okay in there. We made icing and licked beaters and then sat at the table and squished delicious pink icing out of a ziplock bag onto our perfect little cookies.

We spent the whole day as a family, including the trip to Public Heath for Jaces four month shots (he weighed in at 14lbs 14ounces... no longer a giant, just a little perfect boy, but more on that later). We went for a late afternoon walk in the sun. It felt very much like an early Spring day.

(I am just going to go ahead and nickname this walk The walk of the sun flare - holy schnitke they were amazing, between every house, every tree and mountain out there!)

Maizey wore shoes and jumped in every puddle she could find. We invited Brians parents over for dinner and they stayed until after the kids were in bed.
Jace obviously couldn't care less what day it was and Maizey, well she knew (and announced about a billion times) that it was Valentines! Day! but in reality, all she really knew was that it was a super fun day with cookies and walks and coffee and no nap and a balloon and fun fun fun.

(love this action shot - hat falling off and everything)

I don't often have those feelings of inadequacy but when they sneak up, they are ugly. And for what? Honestly. A day that should make you feel good?? It was stupid and unnecessary and luckily, passed very quickly.

We had a great day. Perfect actually. I have always known that we don't need much to make us happy and today just reconfirmed it. One little batch of cookies and a big walk and my girl could not be happier (or more exhausted after coming down from the sugar high). I know that it's not pretty packaged candy and expensive flowers that take a day from normal to awesome, but really just spending a quality day together being a family and expressing how much we love each other with our words and actions is all that it takes.

No, I don't NEED a specific day to do that, but I did take THIS specific one to do it and it turned out pretty damn great.

Happy Valentines Day to my little family. I love you all with my whole heart.

Saturday Shoes

2012-02-13T21:16:00.000-08:00

Just an average Saturday morning in this house.

What? You don't wear your moms shoes around the house in your p.j's?

*these photos are all super heavily edited because my camera settings were wayyyy off. Not my finest photography. Cute none the less*

Swimming Together

2012-02-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

For two whole years I had a little side-kick. Just me and her. We ran errands, had coffee, grocery shopped, walked, played, watched tv, cooked, ate and talked together. Rarely did I go anywhere without her. We have made many a roadtrip just the two of us.
She has been the source of entertaining stories and solid conversations for a long time. She is fun to have around.

Every Saturday all summer long we hit the Modern for coffee and a muffin, then head to the farmers market for whatever we can find and then we look for garage sales and see what kind of treasures await us.
Of course it all changed when Jace came along. There wasn't as much free time, timing is harder when you are juggling a nursing baby and suffering from new-babe exhaustion. Plus carrying a car seat while holding a toddlers hand while carrying a hot coffee is not as easy you'd think. She didn't seem to notice that the one on one attention had been tossed to the side or that we don't make it out as much as we used to. On the rare occasion that we are leaving without Jace she always asks why he's not coming. She likes having him around.

But I noticed.
I sometimes miss the just me and her time. Where walking down the street is a little easier and where no one has to stand at the side of the table bouncing a bucket seat in an attempt to soothe a crying baby (read: me) while trying to gracefully shove a sausage roll into her mouth. Although, if I am being honest that time is normally spent wiping up spilled cups of water and running some one to the bathroom for the third time in half an hour anyways, so it's not like its actually easier.

I decided to enroll Maizey in swimming lessons one evening in January. It was a Saturday night and lessons started the following Wednesday. Just me and her. I had to go in the water with her, so I couldn't take Jace with me. So for two days a week over the last four weeks we have packed our suits and hit the pool. She loves swimming and loved the time with me. We always spend a few minutes in the hot tub after class, warming up and relaxing.

When classes ended on Friday I had planned to take Maizey out for breakfast, again just the two of us, to celebrate, but timing with Brian being in didn't work out so Jace was with Brians mom and she isn't super comfortable just packing him up and bringing him to me if he needed me.

So we postponed until Saturday morning, but then Brian was home and it felt wrong not inviting him, so it wound up being all of us.

Over thick slices of french toast, greasy omelets and hot coffee we toasted to Maizey, for being a big girl and learning to swim and for just being YOU.

I know she is fine, shes not jealous of him nor does she feel left out or in desperate need for attention. I just needed to satisfy my own craving for a little Missy time. She felt special and I feel re-connected. Which is exactly what I was aiming for.

Jumping Jace

2012-02-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

Jaces first time in the jolly jumper... he was a total pro! Loves this thing. LOVES.

It gives me enough free minutes to do a lot of things. Thank you jumper gods.

Four Months

2012-01-29T20:56:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe four months has come and gone. So cliche, but seriously, where has the time gone?
Jace is like this missing link that we never knew was missing. He fits so perfectly in our little family.
I had forgotten how fast the changes are at this age, it seems like every day he is noticing more and more, he is taking it all in and learning so quickly.

He now grabs at anything you hold in front of him, and upon contact, immediately puts it in his slobbery, toothless mouth.
We have replaced the swing and bouncy chair with the jolly jumper and soon to be the excersaucer.
Little man LOVES him some jumping time.

He goes to bed at 7:30 wide awake and goes to sleep. There was talk for weeks and weeks about when to start sleep training but every night we would rock him and lay him on the couch and he would wake up and we would rock him again and so on until we were ready for bed and then he would put him in his bed gently, holding our breath so as not to wake him. Until one night we stopped talking about "training" him to self-soothe and cry it out until he fell asleep, so we just put him in his bed and walked away, expecting to be back every five minutes for the rest of the night. Instead, he went right to sleep and slept almost all night. He hasn't looked back since. I think most of the time its the anticipation that makes it worse.
He is up usually only once per night to eat and then right back to sleep. (Hope I didn't just jinx myself!!!) Which is much nicer than a month or so ago, when it was at least an hour to get him back to sleep. Grrr.

He hates when we try to leave him out of meal time. He has to be on the table, in his bumbo, not missing a thing.
He found his toes a few weeks ago and loves holding them. I'm waiting for the sucking on them to start.

He is SO close to rolling over - we try to get him to reach for things to help him out... it's coming, I just know it! That being said, he won't stay on his belly - ever - he immediately flips to his back. So I guess he's rolling one way!
At his four month well baby visit, he weighed a whopping 14lbs 6ounces!!!!!! Its still shocking to me - Maizey was 11lbs 4 ounces at this age. It kills me - the chub!! Then again, even though he seems huge to us, he isn't even in the 50th percentile!! Just scraping by underneath, so he certainly isn't breaking any records!!
His favorite place to nap is in his carseat. If he won't go to sleep, we put him and voila. Sometimes I trick him into thinking we are actually leaving, by putting his toque and seat belt on. He loves it in there, all snuggled up with his blanket.
He HATES the bath. Hates. I know it's because he has only had a handful of baths in his whole life. Now before you go judging me, it's because he comes in the shower instead. Some days it's me with both him and Maizey (real fun, I know!!!). He just hasn't had the chance to get used to it. We have started working on it though, I really want to take him swimming!!!

He smiles and laughs all the time and so easily and still has huge dimples. He loves watching us talk and sing. He stares at Maizey as she "plays with him". He couldn't love her more at this point. When he sits beside her while she watches t.v he won't take his eyes off her. She loves him just as much and doesn't miss any opportunity to tell him.
He has his moments, but for the most part he is a really good baby that is super easy to read - change diaper, eat or sleep - thats all it ever is.
Four months and I love him more every day.

Snow Fun

2012-01-25T20:42:00.000-08:00

I came home on Monday to close to three feet of fresh snow. You may think I am exaggerating, but believe me when I say (sadly) that I am not.

Our town doesn't shut down with that much snow... it actually seems to, well, thrive. The livelihood of Revy is determined by how much of the white stuff we get, the skiers and sledders flock here thanks to it. If stores didn't open and schools closed every time we got a big dump *heh*, kids wouldn't learn much in the winter months and businesses would make substantially less money.

Some people even live here specifically FOR the snow. I know, I don't get it either.
But seriously, we need to make the best of it, because if we don't - Imma be crazy in no time.

Brian built a kick ass snow slide in our yard. It's so much fun that we played on it until well after dark last night and then again the better part of the morning and into the afternoon today.
And now that the path is packed nice and hard to the top Maizey doesn't need any help to get up, sit down, turn around, get her feet in front of her, and wheeee!! All I need is a lawn chair and ~~a beer~~ a cup of coffee.

We had one tired little girl tonight. So if anyone needs to wear their kids out, come on over! Good times at Case de McGiven!

Weekend Away

2012-01-24T22:09:00.000-08:00

I am home from a weekend away, just Jace and I.
I'm not normally in the business of leaving my kids for any length of time. First of all, I don't have many places to go, and second of all, it's just not how I roll. A night here and there where Maizey has a sleep over at her Nana and Papas is good. But now that I say that I'm thinking back and aside from the night Jace was born and we were in the hospital, she has only been gone one night in well over a year.
Some nights I don't get a lot of sleep and some mornings I curse the numbers on the clock that say 6:15, but really I'm happy to be home and with my little family.
This weekend away came about at the last minute. We had plans to head to Calgary for my high school bestie, Hummel's, wedding reception. A timing and location conflict meant we couldn't be there for the actual big day - I had a six week old baby, the wedding was in Mexico, so the reception in Calgary was obvious. We would be there. But then winter blew in over night and the roads got icy and the temperature plummeted to somewhere around minus 150 thousand and suddenly my husband was all it's too dangerous and I'm a sissy about winter driving and I need to get my nails done blah blah blah.
I may or may not have had a small hissy fit about it's SO unfair wahh wahh wahh when Brian agreed that sometimes you have to be spontaneous and just do what you feel is the right thing to do. So at 11am on Thursday I was booking a flight for Jace and me and at 5:30 that night we were in the air on our way. So what that it's a two hour drive for 35 minutes in the air, right?! Jace was a total superstar on his first flight. Then again on our return. Thankfully!
We spent four whole days relaxing with my parents, lunching with friends, spending nights in fancy downtown hotels ordering room service and locking ourselves out of rooms where little baby boys are laying awake. Okay that part may have only been my Mom. It sure was a nice break and I think my parents were excited to have a little one on one time with Jace, although we all were missing Maizey and her energy.
I got to get dressed up and go to the fancy reception without diaper bag and baby in tow. But more about the party and my little Hummel later this week.
It was a fantastic four days and I was ready to come home, although it's never easy saying goodbye.
These two missed each other.

I came home to an obscene amount of snow, a happy little girl and an equally as happy husband.

Changes

2012-01-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

In my career as a mother I have learned a lot. Lessons in patience, humility, honesty, stress. Lessons in time management and when to just let it go. It's a never ending lesson, and I am on a constant journey to keep learning. I truly believe that it will be a life long process and as a person and mother and wife I will continue to grow and get better as I strive to be better and more aware.
Some of the best words of wisdom I was given in the early weeks of Maizeys life were something along the lines of it will always change so don't worry or stress to much about whats happening right at this moment because it will be different as soon as you start to get comfortable.
The transition phases seem to be the hardest. When the what works stops working. When the happily kicking on the floor stops being enough and they want to sit up or crawl, but those skills haven't been mastered quite yet. From two naps to one to none. From nursing to sippy cup.
I write this now because over the last few months we have noticed a really big change in Maizey. Things that she use to do that I'm sure she only did to make me crazy, have subsided and been replaced with total awesomeness. I am really loving this stage she is at right now. I seriously never thought I would see the day that she would sit at the table and eat her dinner without being distracted by every little thing and therefore be trying to get up and down from the table and not eating and making a mess and it ending in someone crying and going to bed *not always the child in this case* . I thought she would be that kid that was in a high chair until she was 7. When we made the switch from the crib to bed it made bedtime a nightmare. It would take hours for her to go sleep, she'd make a huge mess in her room every night, she would come out and up the stairs repeatedly, she almost always fell asleep with the light on because she just couldn't leave it alone. I won't even get into nap time. It was enough to make me drink. For real. Recently though, something magical happened and while I am normally one to question why and how, this time I am just going to let the universe or whatever made this happen, do it's thing, because I am loving it. She can drink with no sippy cup lid, sit at the table and eat, she goes to bed and goes to sleep, she gets Jace things he needs like a clean diaper or his soother. She sits and plays quietly rather than just making a mess and demanding I play with her. There hasn't been a coloring on something she isn't supposed to incident in forever (I really hope I didn't just jinx us) but there are many pages in her coloring books nicely scribbled on! We went out for dinner tonight, the four of us, to a restaurant. A REAL restaurant (hello Emos!) and sat down and ordered and ate without any fighting and crying and messes and leaving with boxed up meals rather than enjoying a hot dinner. This hasn't happened in a really long time. Long before we became a four actually.
I am loving this newly transitioned phase where at the end of the day (usually) we are all happy. Shes back to napping every day and is much happier because of it. Which obviously means I get in my nap and am much happier because of it.

No Sleep And Sick Day

2012-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

Since December 27th there has been exactly one night that I have gotten more than 2 hours straight of sleep. I am running on fumes.
I think my kids get together every afternoon for a tiny little team meeting where they map out their game plan for the night. They decide whether they should tag team us - one tags the other in as they're falling asleep, and this goes on for the entire night. Or will they both get up at the same time and then stay awake for hours on end? Or, my personal favorite, Maizey says to Jace why don't you just sleep, I'll take the night shift tonight. So Jace gets up around midnight to eat, goes back to sleep at 1 and at 2:30ish Maizey gets up and stays up till 4:30ish, then Jace gets up at 6 or so to eat again.
I hope they don't wonder why I get all yell-y and crazy by the time the afternoon comes around. Lack of sleep makes sane people crazy, it's a fact. I am living proof.
I'm not asking for a lot really. Just for my two year old to sleep through the night and my 3 month old to get up only once for a late night light snack and then back to sleep until no earlier than 7. That's all.

********
I wrote that last night before I fell asleep on the couch and then stumbled to my bed at 9:15.

********
I got two blessed solid hours of sleep before Maizey climbed in with me. She felt warm and was restless. I dozed until 1:00a.m when I was awoken to her throwing up in my bed. It was a frantic few minutes. She clearly has the flu. She hasn't stopped throwing up since.
We stayed in today, watching movies and countless episodes of Backyardigans. My Ang brought us some ginger ale this afternoon and she's been sipping on that.
I'm never really sure how to handle these days, but am trying to trust my instincts and do what feels right - which today was build a fort and nap on the living room floor. Oh, and call my Mom to ask what to do. Heh.
Maizey seems to be keeping some crackers down now... so hopefully we are past the worst of it.
I have been washing my hands like a mad woman and keeping her little hands out of Jaces face too, so heres to hoping no one else gets it.

Soon, it will be my night for sleep. For now, I have a sick little girl that needs me.

Hide And Go Seek

2012-01-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Maizey is just starting to really get into playing hide and seek. She asks multiple times a day to play, most times with Brian and he usually obliges. Like any newcomer to the game (or a two year old), she's not so great at hiding.

You know, like half under a blanket, or facing the wall hiding her eyes as in - I can't see you so you can't see me. We always make a big deal about looking for her - Is Maizey under the couch? Nope, not there. Is Maizey under the coffee table? Nope, not there either. Hmmm, I wonder if she is in the closet? Nope. Why can't I find her? I wonder if she could be behind the chair? Yesss, there you are!! She giggles the whole time and often answers the questions - No, I not in the closet. I over here. We thought the being dramatic was adding to the fun. Plus then it makes the round a minute or two longer, rather than thirty seconds. She's always a good sport about being found and taking her turn counting.

This morning she wanted to play, so I counted and she hid. I heard her grunting and furniture moving, so I counted very slowly to allow her time to get into position. I called ready or not here I come and she squealed with excitement. I did the usual, looking and calling out every other possible place before finding her behind the chair in the living room. She climbed out and instructed me to hide in the same spot while she went to count. I, of course didn't listen. My eyes darted around the room and decided to climb under the computer desk. Sister was counting fast and I had to move quick. I had just sat down and started to scooch when she decided to skip numbers 4-7... great, I frantically slid the chair back into place, but it wasn't really fast enough... just as I let go to quickly hide my arms, she came around the corner from the kitchen and looked RIGHT AT ME - our eyes locked and we both smiled. I didn't say anything and she kept about the business of looking for me as though it had never happened - hmmm is Mom under the couch? Nope, not there. I wonder if she's under the table? Nope, not there. I think behind the chair? No, not there. Hmmm, I wonder if shes under the computer? Yesss, there you are Mom.

Turns out we weren't fooling anyone. She loves it and so do we, but from now on I will be finding real hiding places.

The Best of 2011

2012-01-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

I've been sorting through our hundreds of photos from the last year, trying to decide which to add to this post. I had this big idea that I would choose one photo from each month, my favorite, that would prefectly depict exactly where and how and what we were each month, and intersperse them between a poignant and eloquent poem of words (haha) pieced together about how wonderful and fulfilling and heart-bursting and perfect this last year as been. About how my heart grew in ways I never knew were possible and about how our family feels perfectly in synch and runs like a well oiled machine (except, of course when it isn't in synch and it runs as rough as a truck bumping along on an old dirt road). So for the last three nights after the kids were in bed (or at least quiet) I have painstakingly poured over the photos. I have deleted somewhere around a billion of them - turns out I have never done that before and there were some definite non-keepers in there. ha. I have laughed and watched every single video I have ever taken. I have awwwed over how little Maizey actually was when I thought she was so big. I wiped tears and smiled. Then I realized there is no way in hell I could narrow it down to twelve photos. Nope, not gonna happen. I came up with 90. For real. I'll do my best at picking less...

2011 brought a soul shattering, amazing moment.

The entrance of our son into the world and our hearts. He was, by all terms of the definition, a surprise, and the moment he arrived he wiggled his tiny little way into my heart and has sat perched atop it since that day. It almost seems crazy that he hasn't been in our lives forever.

That same moment made Maizey a big sister, a role she has taken seriously and done amazingly well with. She loves her little brother and any worries I had were dissolved immediately. She could not be happier with him and him with her.

The arrival of Jace meant the disappearance of our spare bed. Our home is now at capacity... we are bursting at the seems. This year brought us closer to final completion of this seven year project and we will one day (soon?) be looking for a new place to call home. For now we are snuggled in here, sometimes literally.

We saw great visitors and a few road trips. We worked a lot and traveled much less. I saw some of my best friends and brothers having baby's, getting married and buying houses.

I was reading back through what I wrote last year and I can say with complete certainly that I lived exactly as I had planned to live. Content, happy, loved, aware and awake. We saw many days in our p.j's and saw many days not. My little family certainly makes it easy to appreciate all this life has to offer. I will once again focus on those same things and can only hope that 20dozen will offer as equally of amazing year.
Cheers to 2012

Christmas 2011

2012-01-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

We were lucky enough to have Brian home all of Christmas after all. So we ate, played games, and sat gathered around his parents kitchen table for the better part of the three days he was home. If I had to be anywhere other than with my own family, it would have been right there.

Maizey "got" Christmas and the whole deal this year, but she still wasn't crazy about the opening part. It would've been fine, except she had to open Jaces' as well. Then go to Nana and Papas and open those as well.

She quit half way through and just wanted to play hide and seek. Her cousins told her to get lost (they love opening gifts!). I love that my girl is still satisfied with very little and plan on working to maintain that. She certainly wasn't expecting more and more and more.

We continued on with our fun traditions and added a new one. We got the idea from a blog I read, so when we got home late on Christmas Eve, we sprinkled a mess of oats, cereal and whatever else we could randomly find, in the driveway as Reindeer Food, then in the morning Brian went out and scuffed it all up and voila, the Reindeer ate the food and Maizey was perplexed as to why she couldn't see the reindeer or Santa anywhere.
The new matching p.j's were adorable and cozy.

Santa's letter was written and a reply sat waiting in the morning. Maizey finished off the leftover cookie that we had left for him, which I thought was super thoughtful of her.
My 'to be taken very seriously' eggs benedict were delicious and well received, even by a certain two year old that has already acquired a taste for the finer foods in life.
I tried my hand at the Best of Bridge Land of Nod Cinnamon Buns and they were also well received and tasty. If you have never heard of them or had them before, go, get the stuff and make them. So easy and so yummy.

Our home was cozy and happy and christmasy and smelled of cinnamon buns. It was delightful in the coffee and baileys warm in my tummy kind of way. Which I obviously know all about.

Hoping Christmas 2011 found everyone, everywhere warm, happy and safe.

A Look At Myself

2011-12-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

I sold myself short yesterday. And it got me thinking. A lot.
I had coffee with my friend Katie yesterday. As far as friends go, she's new-ish. I met her my first year here, she was the first person I ever let cut my hair. Then she moved away. Through Brian and the magic of the internet and social media we have connected. Our coffee was spontaneous and we both had a time frame, one hour - no more. It felt like we were on a speed date... okay, where did you come from, how long are you here, whats your plans, short and long term, and how are you going to make that happen, whats new, whats not new, hows this, hows that, and done. hug. goodbye.
But a small part of the conversation in that one hour has made me second guess what kind of idea I give people about myself.
See, Katie's husband works away - 2 weeks out, 2 weeks home. She has two kids, a(n almost) 3 year old and an almost one year old. She lives in the north. She has no choice but to make it work. She parents, does some free-lance work, takes care of their home, travels, etc etc etc. By herself, again she has no choice, if it needs to be done, she does it.
Her and I do not have the same life. My husband goes away for 30 hours, then he comes home for 30 hours (give or take both sides). I don't know what its like to have to look after everything, and I mean everything, all the time.
Her husband is working over Christmas this year. My husband will more than likely also be working Christmas this year. I laughingly told her that Brian better be home Christmas Eve because Maizey is getting a bike and I can't put it together. We laughed and she said because she's been alone so long, she had to figure out how to do it all, even put a bike together. I told her I had to put Maizeys car seat back in the truck the other day and I was getting SO frustrated because I didn't know how to do it, and I was getting rammy and cursing louder and louder. It was hard and annoying and I just wanted Brian or Ang to come do it for me. The story was meant to be funny and over dramatic, but it came off a little helpless and needy. Two things that I am not. Still laughing Katie said good thing you aren't alone, you would never survive. Good thing you are not alone, you would never survive. Those words are echoing in my head. Because they are simply not true.... But it was my words, my story, the way I portrayed myself, that led her to think that.
I am independent, a do-er, strong and an adapter. I would survive. When shit needs to be done, I just do it and if he isn't home Christmas Eve, I will figure out how to put the bike together. It might take awhile, I might throw things, I might curse every stupid thing in the way, but dammit, I would get it put together.
It got me thinking how many other times in my life, in an attempt to be funny or lighthearted, have I come across like this. What impression do I give people? It is honest? Is it really me? After meeting me, or even knowing me as an acquaintance, what type of person do I come across as?
I have often prided myself in being very self aware and honest. There are not a lot of things I could hear about myself that would surprise me. I do try to be honest to who I am. But am I? Why would I say I couldn't do it, when I know I can? Why would I want anyone to think I can't do something? I was not trying to impress her with my helplessness, my humor, or story.
Admittedly, some things come easier than others. This is true for everyone. But the idea that I can't do something makes me twitch, which is why I try to do everything (except change light bulbs. What if it breaks? What if it explodes? What if I get electrocuted? I hate it.).
From now on, I will no longer be telling stories where I seem helpless or needy. Except maybe to my Mom.
I am tasked with raising two kids to be strong, independent, caring, hard-working, loving, compassionate, solid, smart, thriving people. How can I possibly do that, if I am selling myself short? My story from now on, will end with me being awesome. Period. Unless it ends in me sucking. Which is okay too. As long as I tried and wasn't helpless or needy. I now hate those words. helpless. Yuck. needy. Blech.

*This is no way is a dig against Katie. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I should be thanking her. If Katie knows anything, it is how cathartic and necessary a solid self - reflection is. It's good to take a real look at yourself once in awhile. So thank you my friend.
Now I have to hurry up and hit publish, before I chicken out.

My Favorite Day

2011-12-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

My life; she be good.
Happy and fulfilling and exciting and fun. Most of all fun. And happy.
Yesterday was pretty much my most favorite day ever. There was a lot of christmas business - baking and decorating and listening to Raffi. There was very little crying/fighting and a lot of laughing.

Kids just make the holiday season, I dunno, like a million times better. Maizey finds it all so exciting. She wants to meet the people that live in the little light up Christmas house. She decided there are kids and a mommy and daddy sleeping in it, and she needs the keys to get in the door. She can sit intently and listen to Raffi Christmas for a long time. *It might bring a tear to my eye, the songs and the memories of me as a kid singing them, and then Maizey being into it also. sob*

Do you know how easy Shortbread is to make? Fact: if you eat half of the batch, you will have eaten almost a half a cup of butter. I didn't do that. But I thought about it.

I also realized that when baking with a two year, all expectations need to be thrown out and a lot of patience must be present. Oh, and you have to be willing to clean up a wayyyy bigger mess!

Our tree is up and decorated, the stockings are (not) hung. The lights are plugged in every night and Maizey can sing Jingle Bells (sort of).

(she is making a fake snoring sound that I wish you could all hear)

(and here is the fake sleeping)

(it looks like she's hurting him, but she's not. He really loves it!)

It seems the season snuck up on us a little bit this year.

I am feeling unprepared in some (read:most) ways, but then like I have got it all together in others. In true Brian and Amy fashion, we are not big on presents and more about being appreciative and happy and showering our kids with love and gratitude. The "stuff" really doesn't matter. We won't be going home to my family again this year, so for the third year in a row we will (get to) wake up in our house, just us, on Christmas morning. We will continue with our new p.j's on Christmas Eve tradition and enjoy our Eggs Benedict the next morning. It won't be what I pictured, but it will be wonderful.

p.s We built a snowman and it pretty much the most kick ass snowman ever. But the next day it started pouring rain, so now its face has melted off, an arm fell out and it's leaning at a very unnatural angle. Poor guy.

Christmas Stuff

2011-12-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

This morning Jace fell asleep in my arms. He was so warm and perfect that I couldn't put him down. For real, I tried, I just couldn't make myself do it. The to-do list running through my head was screaming get up and get your shit done... recycling doesn't take itself in, nor do clothes put themselves in the dryer and lunch certainly won't be ready on it's own. Christmas tree needs to be bought and someone is going to break a leg if these toys don't get picked up, or at least pushed out of the way. Even with that battle going on in my head, I just couldn't do it. His breath so perfect and rhythmic, his sweet sighs and random little leg kicks. It was a moment of motherhood that should truly be remembered.

******

Our last five days have bookends that are full of Christmas festivities. Actually, all the in-between is pretty Christmasy as well. I love our little town and all the celebrations and parades and community events. Saturday afternoon found us at the annual Santa Clause Parade, which of course ended with a shout out from the big guy himself. We met up with friends and I think Paola, Stacey and I can all agree, our hearts grew a few sizes when Maizey, standing next to Liam and Eve exclaimed "these are all my friends". So true Missy, so true.

Every year, the understanding and excitement grows and makes it that much more fun. Admittedly, when we were frantically throwing toques and mitts and blankets into the truck and speaking through clenched teeth about where is the freaking baby bjorn????, I was wondering if we should just skip the stupid parade. And when we flew by the bulk plant and skipped getting dog food just so we could make it in time to get a coffee before the parade started, knowing we could just get dog food at the grocery store instead, we knew we were rushing for no good reason.

Maizey watched with fascination and a little bit of fear. She sat with friends and got fistfuls of candy.

Parades are fun, especially when you see nine grown men dressed as reindeer pulling a sleigh. No big deal.

Also when it's followed by dinner out for sushi with some of your besties!!

******

Our first train ride, and Daddy didn't even get to be there for it. There was one very excited little two year old in our house. The railroad threw a kids Christmas party that started with train rides in the morning for anyone in town that wanted to go, followed by a party with an another appearance from you know who. We didn't know the rides were open to anyone, but when I found out, approximately five minutes before the train was scheduled to arrive, I called Ang and told her if she could be there in five minutes she could come. I had visions of winter clothes and boots flying. She raced the train down Victoria Rd and made it in time. I think she would say it was totally worth it, even the almost hitting a pedestrian part. Because I am awesome, I forgot my camera. Ang came to my rescue and just emailed me all of them. In the flight through space between her computer and mine, they shrunk too small to be seen by any normal eyes. I am not going to bother her with trying to send them again, so you will all just have to believe that we went and that we had fun, okay. But just know that there was a major meltdown immediately following the train ride that led to us missing the party and someone going to bed with no lunch. Although I refuse to let such a fun morning be ruined by the crying and screaming.

******

Cookie decorating means a large amount of cookies and icing will be consumed, regardless of how many are decorated. True story. I swear Maizey ate at least six cookies as we decorated and took a bite out of at least six more before I could grab them.

My friend Franca has planned a big decorating party with all of our friends but had to cancel due to unforeseen reasons. Then Ang told me she had baked some sugar cookies and I had already decided to bake Maizey some gingebread men, even though I don't like them, and don't own a little man cookie cutter. Gingerbread snowmen and trees are just as good. So we decided to decorate them. Maizey has asked every day since if we can decorate more.

******

One of my most favorite days of the entire year is coming...perhaps it will be tomorrow. The day we listen to Christmas music, drink hot chocolate (some with Baileys, some without), decorate the tree and then go for an after dinner drive, with more hot chocolate and kids in p.j's, to see the lights on all the houses.
I have a million memories of Christmas traditions from when I was a kid. I don't know if my parents did it intentionally or not, but I am making a very conscious effort to create traditions and memories for my kids that will last forever.

******

The CP Rail Holiday Train came through town yesterday afternoon and while it was just a quick stop instead of a whole show this year, we still went and listened to the music and supported it. Again, no camera, this time I did remember, but the battery was dead. Equally as lame. Jace slept through the whole thing and Maizey met and made a new friend in five seconds flat (Hi Soph) and danced away to the Christmas tunes. She even came home singing Jingle Bells.

So there you have it, a week before Christmas and we are totally into it. Love it.

Lazy Saturday Morning

2011-12-11T21:38:00.000-08:00

A lazy Saturday morning in our house...

Long breakfast and lots of coffee

Early naps and lots of cartoons

I"ll Take 8 Hours Of Sleep for $500

2011-12-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

We only have two bedrooms so inevitably the two kids will be sharing.
We have talked endlessly about when the appropriate time to move Jace out of the bassinet in our room and into the crib in his sisters room, would be.

Shes going to try and steal his blankets.

He's going to wake her up with his noises.

Shes going to try and climb in with him.

My mom told me to just do it. Get it over with. The sooner we do it, the better. Rip the band aid off. Okay, she didn't say that, but it's basically what she meant.

But I was nervous. I didn't want to have to be up half the night with both of them and that's exactly what I pictured happening. One waking the other one and then neither going back to sleep.

We decided last week that he had to go. I was waking up far more than he was, for no reason. Every little noise, I jumped up but he would still be sleeping and it aggravated me. We decided that doing it while we are staying at Brian's parents house would be perfect, since Maizey is sleeping in a crib here and can't get out of bed to touch him and steal his blankets or soother but still get used to his sounds and hopefully sleep through them.

They did amazing. He has slept 8.5 hours every night that he's been in there and she didn't even seem to notice anything other than him being there when she woke up.

She tells me she's so excited that he sleeps in her room. She asked if he could sleep in her bed with her. Who knew sister loved sharing so much?!

Last night though, Jace woke up and decided it was time to be the happiest, loudest two month old awake at 2am , EVER. I tried to nurse him back to sleep. No dice. I tried rocking, ignoring, soothering, and shushing. He politely gave me the middle finger with all the squealing and laughing he was doing. After an hour and a half of all the cute and incredibly annoying behavior, Maizey woke up. We chatted about what was going on and I told her to ignore him and try to go back to sleep, which was what I was going to do. Turns out he didn't think that was cool and started to cry out. I held my breath and waited. 2 minutes... 4 minutes... 6 minutes... I heard Maizey shushing him... 8 minutes... He stopped for a hot second when I heard a little girl voice ask him 'why you just crying all day, Jace?' The cute just got a whole lot cuter!! I laughed to myself, good thing, otherwise the tears were coming. I went and got him again. This was my last ditch attempt at the boob before I was strapping him into his carseat and taking him for a drive. It was effing cold last night but I didn't care.
Luckily... it worked and after two long hours, everyone was asleep.

Bottom line today was.... coffee.

Jace The Giant

2011-12-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

My little man is not so little.

At his two month appointment he weighed a whopping 12lbs 8ounces. He's almost FIVE pounds bigger than his birth weight. FIVE. He's in the 50th percentile.

This is so foreign to us that its crazy. It might not seem big to others, but to us, its huge. He weighs as much at two months as Maizey did at six months. We have put away a box of clothes already and are well on our way to a second. I don't have time to get attached to anything.
He is growing and changing every day. He smiles all the time and loves to look around. He coos and talks non-stop.
He sure does love his family. We sure love him too.

A Lesson On Being Sick

2011-11-21T22:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes my kids teach me to let go of expectations and ideas and just BE.
Friday I had planned on going to town and stopping for a coffee with my friend Paola whom I haven't been able to catch up with (like really catch up) for weeks and weeks. I had all the things I needed to get done planned out and we woke up with plenty of time to get out the house reasonably early. But we woke up to a little girl with the flu. It is heartbreaking to see your kids sick, she's never been sick before and I'm sure she was wondering what the deuce was going on. She informed me numerous times that she was birsty and needed some milk. It was sad.
We were without a daddy all day so there was no chance of a trip to town alone. It meant no groceries, no mail, no coffee or visit, no.... other things that seemed really important at the time. I was annoyed at having to stay home all day. Which made me annoyed at myself for being annoyed. I had plans and expectations and truth be told, just really wanted to go. I leave the house every day. We walk, we do errands, we do menial little crap that fills up time. We do things we have to and things we want to. I go alone. I go with one kid. I go with both kids. It's just what I do. But I had a sick little girl who wanted to curl up on the couch under warm, Nana knit afghans and watch 101 Dalmatians. She wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle. She was happy to be close to me. I finally let go of the idea that she would be better in the afternoon and we could go then. And this amazing thing happened. I relaxed. I put comfy clothes back on and dug a container of chicken broth out of the depths of the freezer for some good old homemade chicken noodle soup. I read stories and played with Dora. We watched 101 Dalmatians twice and she watched countless episodes of Backyardigans. I only went out to fill the furnace and change the chickens water. I was being the mama she needed me to be. It felt right and good. What could possibly be more important than that?
She woke up the next day much better.
Sunday she woke up sick again, but that's what Sundays are for right? To stay home.

Stinky vs Cute

2011-11-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

We survived the Great Poonami of 2011

You're lucky you are cute, Kid.

Warnings And Love

2011-11-07T12:19:00.000-08:00

My two year old comes with a warning.
She doesn't play by the rules, she makes her own.

She argues, but don't take it personally because she even argues with herself. Or her fingers when she is trying to hold up two and only two. "No thumb, you don't stay up, I put you down, stop it"
She isn't quiet, she does not have an inside voice, even in the middle of the night.

She can take a perfectly acceptable two year old activity and turn it into a nightmare. Fact: If you give her two felts *non toxic of course* with a picture to color and get her all set up in her high chair so she can't color on anything that will get ruined, she WILL suck all the color out of the markers and then bite the tip off the end.
She never stops talking. Ever. Even in her sleep.
My new word for her is spirited.

I get frustrated at her, I threaten spankings, I put her in her room, I take things away. I am consistent with discipline and I don't entertain the arguing, I stop it.
She fights with her friends and her cousins. While I would like to be that parent that thinks its always the other kids fault, I am no dummy. I know better.
I didn't think I would ever need the "excuse" shes two, but I am guilty of using it. I have no other explanation for her behavior sometimes. She will be fine one minute and a beast the next. And it's not learned behavior, trust me, I keep my beastiness in check!!

But then...
then she is kind and loving and gentle and quirky and funny.

She shares and says please and thank you without being asked. She says grown-up things and laughs at jokes. She asks thoughtful questions. She says sorry and means it.

She sings songs from her favorite movies and quotes characters like Simba and Dori. She learned what a best friend is thanks to the Lion King and often tells me I am her best friend.

She comes with a warning, but I do love her so.

Name That Kid

2011-11-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

Child #1

Child #2

Which one is which? Leave a comment with your guess, if you'd like!

Halloween and Stuff

2011-11-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it... I suck at Halloween. I never think of good costumes, I don't like not recognizing people and truth be told, I have never carved a pumpkin by myself. Although I do love the candy. True story - we ate a whole box of mini chocolate bars long before October 31st. I swear I will get better as Maizey and Jace get older. Swear. For now, Maizey was perfectly happy to look at the un-carved pumpkin on our steps and up until five minutes before we headed out the door at Angs to go trick-or-treating, she refused to put her costume on. In fact, we thought we might have to cancel thanks to the hissy fit that was going on at our house just ten minutes prior. I was gathering warm clothes as Brian was checking on frozen pizzas in the oven while simultaneously shushing and rocking a screaming baby. He handed the baby off as we shoved pizza in our faces and tried to coax a cranky two year old into having just one bite. I whipped up some coffees as, well I'm not sure what Brian was doing, but I'm sure it was productive and helpful and made the screaming about I'm not putting Elmo on easier to handle. By the time we were ready to walk out the door, we agreed that if she didn't want to put her costume on, it was no big deal, there is always next year. We also agreed that maybe once she saw all her friends dressed up, she would give in. We made it to Angs mostly fed, with hot coffees and a cute little Elmo costume in hand, and sure enough seeing everyone else costume-clad, she put that weird little puppet head on her own.

Jace was going to be the same thing Maizey was for her first Halloween, a baby, but at the last minute I decided to make him a tiny little Frenchman. He was digging it.

We were a comical group of five two year old, three baby's and ten parents.

The excitement was high and the candy was flowing. It was a last minute call out to a few little friends and it turned out great. Chaotic but fun. Next year I will try to be more prepared and more creative. And more festive.
Brian and I sifted through Maizeys bag and ate what we wanted as soon as she went to bed. She hasn't thought about it since. At this age, it really is about what candy WE like!

******
On an un-related note...

We had a friend for the weekend. Our dear friend Trudy.

She's known me since I was a tiny little new born and now she loves on my kids like I assume she loved on me and my brothers when we that little. She finds the coolest little toys and nick-knacks and gifts and she does amazing crafts. She has stocked our kids library with incredible, age appropriate books.

It was so much fun having her here. Its been three weeks of a good ol' taste of home and Trudy was the cherry on top of an already delicious sundae.

We played at the park, ate good food, drank good coffee and got caught up. It was nice to have so much time, rather than the hour long coffee visit we get, when I go home. Thanks for everything and come again anytime Trudy, we loved having you!

A Quicky

2011-10-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have been away from here lately, because, well, to be honest, between being busy with company and road trips and the obvious one, the tiny little boy that needs me and only me and the (self-proclaimed) tiny little girl that likes to torment me all of a sudden, I am also really effing tired. Clearly Baby Jace didn't get the memo that being awake from 2am to 4am is not cool and should never happen.

I took the two kids on a road trip this past weekend. We went to my parents for four days so I could introduce Jace to my family and so I could celebrate at my bestie, Hummels wedding shower (which I do have a few pictures of, but I forgot my camera in Calgary, so they will have to wait until it makes its way home.). They were both so good that despite the popular you're crazy stance about a solo road trip with a two year old and 3.5 week old, I will totally do it again. Of course, having some major help on the other side is a bonus (plus another reason I will do it again! Thanks Nannie!!). We came home exhausted, but happy to have introduced Jace to my family and friends.

The weekend before that we had a visitor. My long long time friend, that started out as a little girl who rode the bus my mom drove, then turned into the little bit bigger girl who I taught Can-Skate too, then turned into the girl who I skated with, who had somewhere in there turned into my wonderful friend.

Caitlin came, and well, she is amazing! She loved on my kids more than I could ever have imagined... she let Maizey climb into bed with her the first night and got up with her at 5:30 in the morning the next night.

I always do love having people from home, in my home, and she was certainly a dose of home. Thanks Cait - we can't wait to do it again!

We are still finding our groove, but its really starting to fall into place. We are all adjusting and somehow we all seem to be surviving on much less sleep. Besides Jace, of course....he has the luxury of sleeping in the truck and in the stroller and whenever he feels like it. Most days it feels like he has always been here and I don't think any of us can imagine life without him.
For someone who wasn't sure about having a baby BOY, I sure do love him. He has found his little place in my heart and is there to stay.

First Week

2011-10-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

We are emerging from the foggy haze that is life with a newborn... and it feels good. As in, I had myself and the two wee ones bathed, dressed (in clean clothes even!), fed and out the door by 9:00 this morning. You know what that means? Today + me = for the mother effing win.
My days are starting to be less about do I have the energy for this and how sore my boobs are and more about wow, this isn't as hard as I thought it would be.

My mom was here for the first week and I would be lying if I said I was happy to see her go. Shes pretty damn easy to have around. She entertained Maizey tirelessly and we woke up to coffee made every morning and she cooked and drove us around. She was a lifesaver. Oh, and she had to deal with a poop-situation at the park... meaning a little blonde girl whipped her pants down at the park, just cuz she had to go...so Nannie is pretty much my hero.

Maizey isn't the most gentle kid around. She's rammy and excited and loses interest quickly in things. So it was no surprise that she was that way with her brother. She knows what "you need to be gentle" means...she just can't seem to actually DO it. When we walked in the door from the hospital the first thing she said was "I need to hold that. Give it to me." Aww, so sweet *snort*. She's calmed down now and while she still likes to hold him for only about 7 seconds, she can often be found sitting beside him in his chair or laying on his feet, snuggling him. She woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago, sobbing and saying "I need to say goodnight to baby Jace" .

Oh, and she likes to "take his picture" (using an old, broken cell phone from her toy box)

Oh, and she likes to sing to him. Twinkle twinkle, little star...

(this is her singing face!)

My house is messy and cluttered with taped up diapers and receiving blankets and the washing machine hasn't stopped in an week...but this little man is starting to feel right at home.

And just like his sister, his little feet absolutely kill me.

We are adjusting perfectly to life as a little family of four.

The Night Jace Was Born

2011-10-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

("On The Night You Were Born"

By Nancy Tillman)

"On the night you were born,

the moon smiled with such wonder

that the stars peeked in to see you

and the night wind whispered,

"Life will never be the same"

Because there had never been anyone like you...

ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain

that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

(The sound of your name is a magical one.

Lets say it out loud before we go on )

It sailed through the farmland high on the breeze...

Over the ocean...

And through the trees...

Until everyone heard it

and everyone knew

of the one and only ever you.

Not once had there been such eyes,

such a nose,

such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

(In fact, I think I'll count to three,

so you can wiggle your toes for me)

When the polar bears heard,

they danced until dawn.

From faraway places,

the geese flew home.

The moon stayed up until

morning next day.

And none of the ladybugs flew away.

So whenever you doubt just how special you are

and you wonder who loves you, how much, and how far,

listen for geese honking high in the sky.

(They're singing a song to remember you by)

Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.

(It's because they've been dancing all night for you)

Or drift off the sleep to the sound of the wind.

(Listen closely...it's whispering your name again!)

If the moon stays up until morning one day,

or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,

or a little bird sits at your window awhile,

it's because they're all hoping to see you smile...

For never before in story or rhyme

(not even once upon a time)

has the world ever known a you, my friend,

and it never will, not ever again...

Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born."

Jace Patrick McGiven

came into this world, our hearts and our life at 10:52p.m on Monday, September 26, 2011

weighing 7lbs 14oz's.

Our life has, once again, been forever changed.

I didn't know my heart could get any bigger...but it has.

Still Waiting

2011-09-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

Still waiting....
so that means...
...after dinner walks to the river to throw rocks
...playing on the dirt piles in the driveway
...Chinese food - in an attempt to make the baby want to come out
...afternoon naps
...sausage rolls (they will have to stop one day!)
...these last days as a family of three.

Maizey knows something is going on. We've seen a change in her over the last week and while I would be lying if I said we were calm, cool and collected about the sudden shift, we are coming to terms with it and tying to change along side her. I didn't want to remember these last days with just her, as a constant fight, so I stopped fighting her. She wants to be close. She won't go to bed alone and she suddenly wants to cuddle. Really, if she needs me to lay with her while she falls asleep for her nap, what could possibly be so important that I don't have the ten minutes to spare? I will take the ten minutes of snuggling (and partially restraining) her if it means she will sleep. Plus, prior to this, she was the most un-snuggling kid in the world, so I deserve the snuggles! haha. She stays up later and gets up earlier. She makes her way into our room in the middle of the night to sleep with us. So we let her. We have years to kick her out, right now, she wants to be with us, and truth be told, we want to be with her.
Its been a long few days... after tonight, I am officially over-due.
We are spending a lot of time laying on the couch.

Shifted

2011-09-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

There was an audible shift in seasons this weekend. The (few we had) dog days of summer are over and fall has arrived. Yesterday at the farmers market there were more vests and shoes and apples. The streets are now lined with crunchy leaves and I feel like pulling out my slippers. Its that time of year.
With the seasonal shift came a definite shift in me, as well. All last week when people would ask me if I was ready for "this" to be over I would reply with a slow 'yaaaa, I'm getting there' - yesterday, I replied with a(n almost aggressive) 'yes, I am ready'.
This big body is getting harder to heave around, the constant pressure on my bladder is making me crazy, and I could seriously kill for a beer. I can already taste that first ice cold pull. Sleep is interrupted every few hours for trips to the bathroom and my hands and feet are getting more swollen by the minute. I love being pregnant, I really do. I love all the feeling baby move and the knowledge that my body is performing the amazing feat of growing a little human in there. But I am ready to not be pregnant anymore. I am ready for the next phase. I'm ready for my clothes to fit again and to stop eating sausage rolls, on a semi-daily basis.
I'm ready.... any day now. Any day.

Wordless Wednesday - Fall Food

2011-09-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

All in a moments picking...

and someones *pretty much* most favorite thing ever... both the shucking (is that the right word?!?!) and the eating...

Random Post About Nothing In Particular

2011-09-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our last few weeks in photos...

My parents came for a few days and my mom taught me how to make jam. Um, super easy and uhh, yummm!
No big deal, now I am a peach canner and a jam maker!!

We are getting ready for the big arrival that's sure to come in the next two weeks... pulling boxes of tiny clothes from the attic, just in case they are needed, putting together the bassinet and readying bedrooms to make space.

Someone is very helpful... and someone else is very patient!!

We've been doing some flower picking lately...

As well as cleaning up the last of the peas. With the exception of about 10 peas, Maizey ate every single one. I will be planting twice as many next year!!!

We are lucky to have friends with beautiful lake property, so we spent an un-seasonably warm morning out there this weekend hanging out. And Maizey and Liam got along so well, they even hugged it out when we were leaving!

SO, my bestie Ang had the sweetest little baby girl last week. Baby Danica, who looks exactly like her big brother and even weighed the same and was the same length. I was going to post a picture, but realized that the only ones I took are crappy blackberry photos. And I also went back to see what I wrote about the other babies born into my life these last few months... and I see that I didn't write anything, including nothing about my holy crap CUTE niece, Baby Rimini that was born in April. That being said, I will be posting a gigantic baby post coming this week. Because that needs to be documented!!! (Sorry babies in my life!!)

And that, doesn't seem like a lot, but I swear, I have felt SO busy...
the work started on the outside of the house - huge, messy job. Hopefully it will only take the two weeks they said it would.
back patio still not done. I don't want to talk about it.
composter put in. I am more excited about this than the average person. I don't care what my dad says - composting is not only for "hippies and weird city people" .
house - trying to keep up, just in case baby decided to come sooner rather than later. Man, I hate doing laundry every day. I much prefer the one day a week-whole-shebang, none of this having to fold and put away every. single. day. Highly over-rated, this trying to keep up business.
I'm getting uncomfortable and sore. feeling every single one of these last 38 and a half weeks right now.

Maizey-isms

2011-09-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

A few little funny things Maizey has said that I want to record in hopes that when I read through them in the future I will be transported back to that moment in time and re-live it.

Me: Who wants to have rice for supper?
Maizey: Me. Not you. Only me.

******

as we are walking out of a random store
Maizey: Mom, I need a latte.

(does that mean we go out for coffee too often?!)

******

I was *quietly* talking to my computer and in place of a certain, um, *bad word*, I will use donkey
Me: What the donkey is going on with you?

Maizey *quietly* to her wooden fruit
Donkey! DONKEY!

******
To Paolas dog that was barking at us

Reiker! You shut your mouth!

(Honestly, we don't say that to her... I have no idea where it came from!!)

******

Okay Mom, you gimme the keys and stay in the house. I need to go for a drive. Alone.

******

5:00a.m - I go upstairs to go to the bathroom

Maizey: Mom, you going pee? Good morning.

******

The day before the birthday party, I was going to bake the cupcakes while she was napping and I told her that. I went to check on her, as she had been napping for almost 3 hours, I peeked my head in the door and saw her laying there half asleep, on her stomach. She looked at me through one open eye and very seriously asked me:
You make the cupcakes mom?

******

Us

2011-09-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

We've been doing a whole lotta this lately. Lots more snuggles, naps together, playing together and just being us.
Soaking up these last weeks (days?) as a little family of three.

Two

2011-08-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Maizey,

Two. You are two years old. You can stop saying "two august" when people ask you how old you are. Holding up two fingers is tough, but we've been practicing, you'll get it soon.
I woke up this morning at 3:48, by chance. 4 minutes before the exact moment you were born. I went to your room and sat down on the floor beside your bed. In the dark I whispered in your ear. I re-played those minutes from two years prior and it felt like I was in a movie or something. You sighed a deep, tired sigh and I sighed a deep, happy sigh.
You've become quite the little person in the last two years. Not nearly so much a baby anymore, but more this tiny little girl that has a big presence in the world. It's hard to wrap my head around, so I just try to go with it. Our conversations are exactly that - real conversations. You speak in full sentences and know no limit on number of words in them. The "books" say you should be putting two or three words together by two years old. You, my friend have been doing that for at least six months. You say things like "I want to go outside and play with my purple hippo pool". It's amazing to hear you talk and ask questions and answer questions and make up stories and re-play events. Last night I asked you where the mark on your belly came from and you told me "Daddy pinch in my seat belt on my high chair" , I totally thought you were making it up, but no, he really did do that. He's sorry. You tell jokes and call yourself funny. You are compassionate and caring and loving. You are getting pretty good at sharing, but sometimes its tough. You'll get there. You have friends, that you talk about all the time and want to know where they are and what they are doing.. You want to include them in everything we do, which I love about you, always wanting to make sure everyone is included. "You coming too, Dad?" "Corbin James want some water too?", etc. You definitely like to act out around them, but you really do like them and it makes my heart swell knowing that you have them. Here's for hoping you are making a bff right now!
In a few short weeks you are going to be a big sister and you are so ready for it. You got a baby as a birthday present and all you want to do all day is feed it and change its diaper and know where it is and play with it and cuddle it. You want it to sit beside you on the couch and on your chair at your little table. You even tried to make it pee on the potty today. I am going to have a keep a close eye on you when the new little one arrives... you can't just be putting that baby on the toilet!! You give my belly hugs and kisses and rest your hand on it hoping to catch a kick, but in reality you are much too impatient to wait for something like that. You keep saying you want it to be a baby sister, but I'm pretty sure you don't know the difference and that you are going to be so smitten no matter what Swarly ends up being.
You are truly one of a kind Missy. You are fearless, funny, outgoing, loud, attentive and caring. It has been amazing watching you grow into this little person with her own ideas and opinions and feelings.
Your daddy and I are so excited to continue watching you grow and change and become the little girl you want to be. One that's independent and strong willed and happy and loving. And that's a little bit of a pain in the ass too. Because who are we kidding, you are my daughter. Heh.
We love you so much, Baby Girl, and we are very very proud to be your parents.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

see year one

A Two Year Old Birthday Party

2011-08-28T21:25:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, I woke up, cleaned the bathroom, ate breakfast, showered (complete with leg shaving) and went into labor, all before 8:00a.m. I had hiked on Mt. Revelstoke the day before and had been eating Chinese food for two days straight. I was swollen and sore and ready for the pay off of having been pregnant since December 2008.
I have been re-playing August 28, 2009 all day today. Remembering what I ate, who I talked to, when I went where and what happened at what time.
At 3:52 tomorrow morning I will have been a mama for two years. Two Years.
The longest, shortest, craziest, fattest, skinniest, tiredest, amazingest, love and life affirmingest two years ever.

********

We celebrated those two years today.

And thanks to the contractors we hired that told us they would be filling our yard up with supplies for the outside renovations, we decided to have the party at the park down the street from our house. It should be re-named 'perfect for summer birthday party's park' .

The kids played and swam and ate ice cream and cake and had a blast with out anything to fight over.

In true Maizey fashion, she went full out for the whole day.... starting this morning with great excitement and anticipation for her 'birthday party with cake too' . She crashed the second she could. It will take a day or two to recover, for both of us.

We have seriously awesome people in our life. Thanks to everyone who made today so great for Maizey and for us.
Be back tomorrow with a real birthday post.

A Smattering Of Stuff

2011-08-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

We have either skipped the "why" stage, or it just hasn't come yet but we are drowning in the "wheres" right now...

Where's my daddy?
work
Where's Corbin James?
    his house
Where's Ang?
    her house
Where's Niko?
at Angs house
Where's Nemo?
   I don't know, he's lost, that's why they are looking for him
Where's Nemos daddy?
     Looking for Nemo
Where's Dori?
      with Nemos daddy looking for Nemo
But where's Nemo?
      I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S WHY THEY ARE LOOKING FOR HIM
Where's Jaya Joy?
     Colorado
Where's Elynn?
    Colorado
Where's Baby Rimini?
    Colorado
Where's Jaya Joy?
    Her house
No, Colorado
Where's Jaya Joys carseat?
     Probably in her moms truck
No, Grandpas truck
Where's Nannie?
    Home
With Grandpa?
    Probably
Where's Grandpa?
     Home
With Nannie?
   Probably
Where's Tessie?
     Grandpas house
With Nannie?

Holyyyyy craaaappppp. Its all day, every day. She knows the answers so I have started answering with 'well, where do you think she/he/it/that is?' - makes it a little more interesting that way.

::::::

One of my high school besties, Cartwright, came for an impromptu visit and it was so much fun. We relaxed, watch t.v, napped, walked, drank coffee. Just one of those weeks that makes me wish she lived just down the street rather than five hours away. There's something odd, yet so comforting and normal about having someone from home, in my home. It always feels crazy and surreal and normal and awesome. I love it. We ate nightly sundaes with fresh fruit, girl guide cookies and chocolate sauce on them and got caught up. Like, actually caught up, as in there was no stone left un-turned. Plus, its just so great seeing the people that I love, love on my kid. Maizey was sure missing her when she left. Thanks for the visit Cartwright! Come again soon!!

:::::::

Maizey is potty trained. No details needed. Its been a month since we changed a dirty diaper. Yeee-freaking-hawwww.

:::::::

Our garden is exploding. I bought four broccoli starts in the spring and I thought they were dieing in about the middle of July. No heads, but a lot of holes from bugs. Then I found tiny little white heads growing in the center as tight and hard as can be. Turns out the starts were mis-labeled and I got cauliflower instead. They went freaking bananas with the cold, wet summer we had and I got close to TWENTY POUNDS of cauliflower. Its in my fridge if anyone would like some!! Makes delicious soup and is so soft and flavorful you can just eat it raw.

The beets and carrots are the biggest they've ever been and I have picked atleast five pounds of spinach. It has made the best spinach dips ever. The peas and beans went in late so they are just ready right now. Maizey is all about the evenings in the garden picking the peas and eating them.

::::::

The box. It's not a lie when people say their kids had more fun with the box than what came in it.

::::::

We made the switch to a bigger girl bed (which means taking the side off the crib) yesterday. Nap time was a total flop and left us all frustrated, un-napped and not pleasant. Bed time last night was a breeze. It might have had something to do with the fact that she was exhausted. This morning, I heard her wake up and get out of bed, so I thought I would hear little feet down the hallway to our room. Instead I heard her bedroom door slam shut and her start playing. Yesterdays non-nap led to an exhausted little girl falling asleep on the couch.

Here's to hoping nap time goes better today!
::::::

I was feeling like I had a lot to catch up on. Days and weeks are flying by right now. With Maizeys birthday party coming this weekend, I am busy getting ready. Both for the party and the fact that I will have a two year old. I am constantly re-playing these days leading up to her birth day from two years ago... on this day I was... on this day I saw...
Its crazy and amazing and I love her more and more every day. Taking the time right now to appreciate these last weeks as a family of three.

Off Schedule

2011-08-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

We managed to make it through most of the summer without our routine changing too much. We maintained a start of day around 7:30 and an end of day at 7:30. Naps, meals, walks and fun all stayed on time. All of a sudden out of the blue, we are wayyyy off schedule. I'm talking start of day between 6 and 6:30 and end of day somewhere around 9:00. Naps aren't had until 3:00ish and that's if they happen at all. Tonight, we sat down to eat dinner at 7:15. What the ??? It's taking its toll on this pregnant mama.
But I'm trying to roll with it... that means we can be out of the house by 8:00a.m no problem. So we have been trying to do that. Plus, it's still a nice, cool temperature outside at that time of day... perfect for me! And it means we have made it downtown to the music after dinner a few times in the last couple weeks. We don't go for the music, we go with hopes of running into friends and getting ice-cream or popcorn, or as the case was the other night, ice-cream and popcorn.

okay, maybe she goes for the music. Missy loves the dancing and clapping and sits contently watching it.

Our schedule will soon be back on track and these late nights downtown and long afternoons in the backyard or at the beach will be a distant, summery memory. Come November I will be wishing for a few more minutes outside and no socks and shoes.
So I'm going to take these evenings out with my girl while I can. Schedule or not.

Oh and for the record.... here's my 35 week prego belly. Its big. And the only picture I have taken of it in a really long time.

Happy Wedding, Riley

2011-08-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

My little brother got married this weekend.

I should say, one of my little brothers. Not the littlest.

I felt a little like it was a toddler getting married... I mean, he's just a kid after all. But I was wrong - he has a house and pets and a career and a whole family of friends that I don't know and now... now he has a wife.

Yes, I am admittedly much more emotional than I am normally and feeling very sentimental and family-ish these days, but still, it was exciting and fun and made me very, very happy to see him so happy.

Those people really like him. Like, really. Not because they are his family and have to either. But because they want to.
Weddings. They are a lot of work and exhausting and cost a lot of money and I have been known a time or two to tell people, don't waste the money - just go, get married, safe yourself the stress and anxiety and resentment and everything else that goes along with planning a wedding. You will be happier for it. But then I go to a wedding and I am glad those people didn't take my really bad attitude advice, because they are fun and theres nothing better than having all the people you love the most in the whole world, all together and having fun. (I do need to say that my wedding was awesome and fun and I have no regrets about any of it...but it was a lot of work and it was exhausting and it did cost a lot of money *but not a lot in terms of what some weddings cost* so I feel like I am in a position to say that. But I did love my wedding - every little thing about it!)

There were 15 kids in the wedding, except Baby Rimini called in sleeping, so it was only 14. It went shockingly smooth and they were all so freaking cute that it was hard to think anything but that.

We ate and danced and (everyone else) drank. We stayed up far later than we ever would these days. We had fun. A lot of fun. So I will admit that I ate my words.

I have said it before, but I will say it again. The older I get, the more I see the importance in family. It's not always perfect, but really, what is? We are who we are and that's just the way it is.
This was a great reason for us all to be together and I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

Congrats Riley and Steph! And thanks for such a great time!

p.s I just re-read this and noticed some serious over usage of the word fun. fun fun fun. I don't care, I am leaving it, cuz that's fun. heh. judge if you must!

p.p.s I came home to an almost dead planter of flowers, a garden that is crazy in need of weeding and picking and eating, a fridge full of cauliflower that was picked and now needs to be eaten. and a shit load of laundry to do. Welcome home.

Just Stuff...Right?

2011-08-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

Remember how Maizey was really little for a really long time? She was born small, then had trouble gaining weight, and playing catch up wasn't easy. And remember that I have written before about how I got attached to her clothes and how it was really hard for me to put her stuff in boxes destined for the attic.Well, a little while ago I had this crazy reality hit me.... what if we have a boy???? I won't be pulling out boxes of tiny baby girl clothes, washing and folding and putting away and smiling as I remember just how oh so Maizey the stuff is. I won't be telling Maizey stories about when she wore those clothes or where she got those shoes. I won't be taking same-same pictures. I have shed more than a few tears just thinking about it... (damn you pregnant hormones!!!). I am still trying to wrap my head around a family photo with four of us... let alone a photo with A BOY!!! in it. I can still only think of girl names and I really have to hold myself back from buying new infant girly stuff. I can't picture our life with a little baby boy. It just doesn't seem... us.
My bestie Ang is also having a baby. We are due within two weeks of one another. She knows shes having a little girl. It sounds and seems only logical to be giving her all my stuff, should we have a boy. Tradesies right?
I can't. I just can't. I know it seems ridiculous for all those boxes to sit in the attic, collecting dust and taking up space that we really don't have to spare, for no other reason than, I just can't do it. For real, I am not ready for them to be gone yet. I'm not ready to go through and pick out some special outfits to save. I'm not ready for this time in Maizeys life to be over. In fact, in our life too. When everything is all about Maizey. Where the only memories those clothes hold are Maizeys. But then I feel guilty. Because seriously, who keeps boxes and boxes (and boxes and boxes) of clothes they don't need? When another little girl could totally be using them? Someone like me, I guess. Someone that really is attached to them and really has a hard time imagining them being gone.
The most ridiculous part is, I am actually worried about this. I'm not worried about packing a hospital bag (maybe ever, haha), or how we are going to fit a bed for Maizey AND the crib in her tiny little room. Not worried that we don't have a carseat, or agreed on names. Not worried about labor or pushing a little human out of somewhere much to small for a human to come out of. But this - what I am going to do if I have a boy baby and should probably give our girl clothes away - this I am worried about.
I know it doesn't really matter, and should we not need the girl stuff, I will know when the time is right to let it go (or not). I also know that we could totally have another girl and this whole worrying thing will be for nothing (see, just another reason not to worry about stuff, right?!).

Wordless Wednesday - Toes

2011-08-03T20:20:00.001-07:00

This little piggy went to the market....

Summer Pregnancy = Awesome?

2011-08-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

The whole of last week I was thinking about a post I would write about how this has been the best summer EVER to be pregnant. I mean seriously, days that are only 14 degrees out?? It doesn't get much better than that for a very pregnant person. I was thinking about writing how it has meant we can spend long afternoons outside, what with the low 20's temps and the light breezes, how it has made for fewer trips to the Nomad for ice cream and how I hardly notice the inevitable swoobs that come with being pregnant in the summer (don't lie, you all know it happens!). I was going to write how I am less swollen than with Maizey and how I have even wore jeans this time around, which practically doubled my wardrobe, unlike last time, where two pairs of shorts and 3 tank tops had to get me by. I thought how nice it has been that the cool (just know that I did hesitate to write cool rather than cold, which some days it has been) days have been balanced by a scorching hot day here and there and that has done wonders for the yard and my garden.

my fifth picking of spinach this big!! holy crap...
I was even going to write how my garden is the best and most bountiful it has ever been thanks to the *pretty much* daily rain (interesting what regular watering does for a garden...!) and that a price can't be put on eating healthy and delicious home grown food, even if it at the expense of a perfect tan or countless days on the golf course. I was going to write that I am still comfortably sleeping, other than the its getting really hard to get in and out of bed , thanks to the nice cool temperature in the house and that the uncomfortable-ness that I experienced last time just really hasn't happened yet. I was going to say that me and mother nature are pretty much homegirls right now. BFF's.
Then this weekend happened. My beloved Kokanee weekend. Where baseball playing and drinking beer goes hand in hand with cliff jumping and sun stroke. So I should have known that it would be hot. I was taken screaming back to the pregnant summer of Maizey where visions of 38 degree parade days and weeks of no rain or breeze haunted me. Where I sat in a kiddy pool and hoped no one saw the beached whale that I was. I was lucky enough to have the forethought to get out of the house in the mornings, when it was still bearable, then be home and hiding in the basement all afternoon. And I learned that dinner time is a perfect time to go to the lake.. everyone else is eating dinner and there are very few people down there. Plus its really shady and cool at 6:00.

I will not complain. I will not complain. I will not complain.
I have been lucky and I know that. I think it helps knowing how bad it could be. I just hope it doesn't stay this way for the rest of the month or *gasp* get worse...

Wordless Wednesday - Chasing Bubbles

2011-07-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

(It's been awhile since I posted a Wordless Wednesday... I plan on getting back into it!)

Pure Nostalgia

2011-07-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

In the last week a giant dose of nostalgia jumped up and punched me in the face. Hard. It started with the anticipation of my Ten Year High School reunion and it just grew from there. It's been exciting, fun, happy, and tear jerking and sad all at the same time. I am exhausted.

The Reunion
Ten years?? Holy crap. I don't feel old, at all. I don't hate the idea of being close to 30. I feel like I've done a lot in the last ten years and am more than happy with where I am in my life. But the idea of attending my reunion was... daunting. I am SO not the same person I was in high school, yet I worried I would become that person again when I was around all those people. And the old high school hang ups... yep, still there. So I did my best to just go with it, not over analyze myself nor the situation prior and just be. It was a success. We didn't have a huge turn out, which is a little sad considering we didn't have a huge class to begin with, but it was fun. Like, really fun. We laughed that if you had taken a picture and compared it to a high school party, you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. To be honest, very little aging has gone on!! Wooo! For some reason, I really have no pictures. Lame. And no "I partied till 6am" kind of stories (not lame) like some people!!! I left feeling happy to have gone and seeing everyone and actually anticipating and wondering what the 20 year reunion will be like?? Still jeans and hoodies and flip flops and Beersbie and pools and fires and BeerPong (or a lame excuse of beer pong)? Will there be more "other half's" and kids? I now feel the need to listen to Summer Girls and sort through old photo albums.

My fourth and sixth grade Teacher
I admittedly had a favorite teacher in elementary school. She was my favorite for reasons that are important to a nine and eleven year old. Like she let me keep the tattered copy of my favorite book in grade four. A Brother for the Orphelines.

I read it not that long ago. It took half an hour. She also gave me one of those little rubber things for the end of your pencil that are supposed to make it easier to hold. I thought they were pretty much the cats ass and she let me have one. I felt like the coolest kid in class (little did I know, it probably made me the least cool, but whatever). She also used to trade me for my (in my mind) crappy (but actually really were delicious) homemade cookies for her (in my mind) SO awesome wheat crunch. My mom would never buy that stuff, so I traded for it, "trade for homemade" as we fondly referred to it as. Oh what I wouldn't give to have someone give me homemade cookies every day now. haha. Through the magic of facebook, I managed to re-connect with Mrs. Remmer seven years after seeing her at my high school graduation for the last time. We always said we should have coffee when I was home for a visit, but it just hadn't happened, so this time in my state of ohmygodtenyearshasgoneby I decided to try and get together with her. So it all worked out and my mom, Maizey and I went to her house for coffee. I told Maizey to call her Mrs. Remmer, which she scoffed at and told her Nana Bev was better. Umm, she's a teacher, we don't call teachers by their first name!! I realize now that as a student, we really don't know teachers at all. We visited for almost three hours and very little of that was about school or people we had in common, but more about funny stories like her falling off a wall in England and trying to act casual about it while her glasses were obviously broken and sat on her face at a weird angle that was noticeable and hilarious. She has become more than just my favorite teacher from grade school. She has become my friend.

The Cookbook
With the passing of anyone, comes the inevitable cleaning out and getting rid of their stuff. My mom and aunt and uncles are in the middle of this with my Grannies house. For as long as I can remember, the house looked the same -- the same pictures stayed on the same walls, the furniture rarely made any moves, the cookie tin always beside the fridge, the little blue chair sitting at the little wall between the kitchen and living room, with the picture of my brother riding a bull above it. I expected it to be different when I walked in there yesterday, but it wasn't, and I really wasn't ready for it. Maybe its different, easier in some way, for everyone that has been to the house multiple times, but for me it was a shock. She was supposed to be there.
My mom asked if there was anything I wanted or needed. I don't need anything, but there were two things that came to my mind immediately, that I would love to have if they hadn't already been spoken for. The little blue chair was one. I can vividly remember sitting on it at the coffee table in the tv room. We were probably watching 'Are You Being Served'. I can picture my little brothers sitting on it, and now I see Maizey sitting on it. It seems out of place, yet right at home since I brought it in my house last night. I have debated painting it, but I don't think I will. Not yet anyway, for now it needs to remain the reminder of great childhood memories.
Then there was the cookbook. The red and white checkered Better Homes and Gardens cookbook that I'm sure everyone's grandmas and moms own.

There isn't a person in my family that doesn't associate good cooking and delicious food with my Grannie. We all called her on a regular basis to ask for recipes or directions on something cooking or baking related. This cookbook is taped together at the spine and has pages falling out. It has a few little pieces of paper stuck in it with other recipes or directions. Some pages look worse than others, like the whole section of cakes and the section on making candy. The page that teaches you how to preserve tomatoes is splattered with what I can only assume is tomato juice. It's ragged and worn and well used. I love it. I may never make a single thing out of it, as I just looked at a buttermilk pancake recipe that called for 5 tablespoons of shortening, but that's ok. For me, it really is only about the sentiment it has. She took it off the shelf and sat at the kitchen table looking for recipes, hundreds of times. She prepared many of meals and cakes and cookies and desserts with love. I will remember that when I too, take it off the shelf and sit at the kitchen table flipping through it. Even if all I am doing is taking a minute to remember her.
I was having a hard time taking anything. I told my mom it just didn't feel right. she reminded me what Grannie would say. Don't be ridiculous, no sense this stuff just sitting here. Take it and use it, that's what it's for.
So I did. I brought a little piece of her home with me.
And I'm happy I did.

Feeling very thankful for all the people and happiness that has shaped my life this far. It's good to remember and feel sentimental and nostalgic about it.

I'm On A Boat

2011-07-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

We recently became boat owners.

For as long as I have known Brian, he has wanted one. Every spring when the run off really starts to flow and you can't drive in anywhere good to go fishing anymore, he brings it up.
We should just drop the cash and buy a boat this year.
As though we just have the cash laying around to go and drop on something like that. He has always met resistance.
We don't have the money.
We don't have the time.
We have too much work to get done.
I don't think I will love being on a fishing boat all day.
Our truck can't pull a big boat.
It doesn't have to be brand new you know.
Etc, etc, etc. Then we found this boat, by chance, driving down a downtown street. The stars (and banks) all aligned and we bought it. It was not on a whim, its been years in the making.

I've learned a lot about boating and fishing and just about being on the water in general, in the last month or so...

-Its never a good idea to wear long pants and socks and shoes. Someone inevitably has to wade in to launch/load.
-Shoes take a long time to dry.
-Go pee before you leave.
-Make sure the boat battery is charged before you leave. It makes for a frustrating half hour after the boat is in the water, wondering why it won't start.
-Just because it started last time, doesn't mean it will start this time. It's old(er). Be nice to it.
-When the water is hovering just about 50 degrees, don't plan on suiting up and jumping in so you can go pee.
-You aren't guaranteed to catch a fish every time. Even with a fish finder.
-When it takes 15 minutes to drive to the boat launch, don't think you can get across the lake, loaded and home in 20 minutes. You will be late. Every single time.
-Almost 2 year olds only find it amusing watching you steer the boat at a slow speed while you troll for so long. They get bored and want to touch stuff. Usually stuff they shouldn't.
-Along with the purchase of a boat comes other, inevitable purchases. Such as a trolling rod and reel. Because obviously a regular rod and reel are deemed un-usable when trolling.
-Almost 2 year olds look really cute in a life jacket (aka wife jacket)
-Some people can't hold their pee as well as they used to. Keep that in mind at all times.
-Your husband will need to spend hours on end doing stuff to the boat. Greasing, tuning, washing, tinkering.
-Don't expect him home early. Ever.

The bottom line is that I have always been a boat skeptic, thinking that we are so not a boat kind of family.
Turns out my mind can be changed, and has been. We are so totally a boat kind of family.

Alone Time

2011-07-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

I managed to sneak away tonight for some time to catch my breath. Brian has been killing himself trying to make his miles and get a few extra days off, which means us being home with out him a lot, and that in turn leads to everyone being exhausted and miserable. It caught up with us tonight. I was sighing dramatic sighs as I did the dishes and he was stomping dramatic stomps as he tried to wrangle Maizey into the bath and then into her p.j's. It was ugly and unpleasant.
When it was all said and done, Maizey was in bed, albeit not sleeping, but still. Brian was sitting at the computer and I was walking out the door.
It was very quiet. A look between the two of us followed by an unspoken understanding. A little if I don't get the hell out of here I might strangle you.

So in my random thoughtlessness that I am enjoying thoroughly right now, I am breathing in a dose of its really not that bad. No really, its not. So she cried wolf about going to the potty three times at dinner, once while her frozen yogurt popsicle was dripping down her arms and all over the floor, big deal. So I dropped the spatula covered in greasy taco beef all onto my formerly un-washed for six-ish-months up until two days ago, floor and watched it splatter all over the place. I guess this time it won't be six months before its washed again. So my legs are aching because I was up half the night with that bitch, heartburn, slowly trying to kill me. It just means I am going to sleep realllllly well tonight (right?). So we have one more day to get through with out Brian. (Hopefully) then he will be home for 4 days IN A ROW!!!
I ran into a friend at the farmers market yesterday and while standing beside the coffee roasters, right in the middle of the only walkway through, we talked about blogging and how it makes you look at your life differently. Mostly because, lets be honest, no one wants to hear you complain all the time. So it forces me to look at my life in a light that is spun with positivity and happiness, not wahhh wahh wahhh feel sorry for me.

Tonight, I admit, I was feeling sorry for myself. So I sat down here, at this rickety little table that wobbles with every movement, to write about how crappy it was that my husband has to go on very little sleep to get extra trips in, to get days off, not even extra days, just any. And how Maizey pooped on the porch floor today and I didn't want to clean it up, but, obviously, I had to. And how I hate hiding in the basement when its so nice outside, but seriously, if it gets any hotter, I will be forced to buy an air conditioner.
The list goes on. Its whiny and stupid and... I'm over it. In reality, those really are some minor problems.
I know its impossible (and ridiculous) to even try and be happy and positive all the time, so I accepted my whiny-ness, let it have its moment... and moved on.
I'm good now. Its getting dark and the bugs are coming out. I need to go home. I want to go home.

On Potty Training

2011-07-09T16:19:00.000-07:00

I love teaching Maizey. Everyday I watch her learn new and exciting things that are shaping her into the little person she is so quickly becoming. When I watch her say Thank You to someone without being prompted, I give myself a fake pat on the back and when I see her being grabby or pushy to her friends I take the time to explain why we don't do that and what we should do instead. I love teaching her ridiculous party tricks, like to answer 18 months when asked how old she is. I swell with pride when she says it! I know the invaluable lessons we teach her now will one day pay off, like cleaning up after herself and looking both ways before crossing the street.
But there is one thing I could live with out teaching her. One skill I really wish all kids were born with.
Potty training.
Blech.
I didn't (and still don't) expect it to be easy. I would be crazy to think we could get through this without any accidents or that it would happen over night. I came into it with very little expectations and so far haven't been too disappointed or frustrated.
But still... there are a whole new set of rules that come along with it and to be honest, no one in this is house is too crazy for them...
When not wearing a diaper there is NO:
Sitting on the couch
Playing by yourself out of your parents line of sight
Playing in your bedroom
Going downtown or to the park

Which means:
We sit on the floor A LOT
We have to be side by side pretty much all the time
We get bored and cranky at each other

It's a process.

That being said, she is doing remarkably well. We even did venture downtown yesterday, veryyyy quickly, with no diaper on. It was stressful. But it was without accident, so um, yayy for us!

We will keep at it. I am hoping for a little break from the diaper changing.

Canada Day

2011-07-04T14:18:00.000-07:00

Friday night I put an extremely exhausted, ketchup-covered, black-footed toddler to bed. She whispered love you mama as I walked out of the room. I shut the door and sighed a happy and also very exhausted sigh.
It was a good day.
I sometimes forget why we celebrate Canada Day, what it means for our country and why it's important to be appreciative. What I don't ever forget is how fun it is... the parade, the people, the bbq's, the cupcakes.
Maizey was pretty good at the parade, she didn't freak out at the giant walking bear, but she did startle a little when the trucks blew their horns. She held on to the two pieces of candy she got for dear life.

Some very nice people from some church were handing out bibles. The first lady skipped right over me. I know, I don't get it either. But the next guy, he asked if I needed one. I said no, but I will take it anyways. I don't really know what constitutes "need"... so I thought what the hell. Wait, that's bad. Hmmm... maybe I do need one.

We celebrated with a bbq... that's what I do now that I can't sit in the beer gardens all afternoon.
Friends and kids and babies gathered in our backyard despite the less than stellar weather.

I love this picture of Marley - she was saying cheeeese while trying to smile, all with her mouth full!!

Baby Cadence. 2ish months old. Pretty much slept through the whole thing!

We set up Chelsea's monstrous water slide sans the water and the kids played tirelessly.

I am sad to say I don't own a single red piece of maternity clothing, so while I didn't feel too festively dressed, I did try to make up for it a tiny bit in swag. You know, red tablecloth, red sorbet in our punch *thanks again Rim, it was delicious and well received!*, a few Canada flags here and there, a red plaid skirt on Maizey. I did alright.

Apparently fireworks are illegal here, so our party ended early. Oh and the fact that everyone and their kids were tired. Just one more time I am reminded how times have changed. No more ridiculous drunk karaoke-ing on a stage in some harbor in a little town with people who's names I can't remember and songs I really never knew. All in the name of my country, right?

One of my most favorite pictures ever!

We wound down our weekend substantially quieter. Hit the lake, joined in for the early parts of a 30th birthday party, ate pancakes, drank coffee. Finished off the cupcakes. You know, usual stuff.

I loved the reminder this weekend how awesome being Canadian is. And how much I love our life, our kid and our friends.

What Daddy Wears

2011-06-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

I don't even have any words, just a general wondering about where this kid comes up with these things and how did we manage to confuse her so greatly about what 'panties' really are??
Nonetheless, she said it for a very long time yesterday, and I am secretly hoping that she busts it out in a really public place, really loud...
'DADDY WEARS PANTIES' !!!!
It will be awesome!

Surviving vs Thriving

2011-06-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, summer with an almost two year old, is a whole lot more fun...

Nobody judges the woman sitting in a kiddy pool splashing herself in the face when there's a toddler running around. Just saying.
At least, I don't think they do.
Although, I was a little worried when the young renters in the house across the street drove by approximately 800 times while I sat in my lawn chair reading my Better Homes and Gardens magazine and drinking cold coffee, wearing clothes that are getting very obviously, too small. Whatever, they aren't the one carrying this internal furnace with no off switch, around all the time. So who cares, right?

Anyways, the point is, a hose with barely a dribble coming out equals never ending fun. Throw in a few pails, a $6 blow up pool from the Bargain Shop, some shovels, and a hat that can serve as a water transporting device and we are good to go for hours. Add a few friends, some watermelon and pretzels, a nearby sand box and a car, before you know it, its getting cold and is dinner time.

We haven't had the warmest weather so far this summer. To be honest, I am good with it. But since this isn't my first rodeo, I know when the hot days hit, the only way to get through it is with the help of that $6 blow up pool from the Bargain Shop. Oh, and the fact that our bedroom is in the basement, that doesn't hurt.
The summer I was pregnant with Maizey, I spent a lot of time laying on my bed, watching Everybody Loves Raymond on a 2.5inch screen. It's all about survival.

Right now, we are definitely more than surviving. We are thriving.

Happy Fathers Day

2011-06-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

You know how I know that this house hit the jackpot when it comes to the Daddy?
Because last week I came home from a morning out and there was a little white t-shirt soaking in the bathroom sink with a bottle of spray and wash sitting beside it.
Because after letting me sleep in until *gasp* 9:00, I got up to chocolate chip pancakes on the stove.
Because a few months ago he took Maizey to the store and came home with Dora big girl panties. Seriously, what Dad takes their one year old shopping for underwear?!

Because this picture speaks for itself

We are lucky, very lucky.

Potty Party

2011-06-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

This is how our Friday morning was spent...

... How about you??!!

Loves

2011-06-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

Heading out to water the garden, after dinner, in p.j's. Then taking a break to sit on the steps and wave to the people walking by.

Corn on the cob. Girlfriend can't get enough.

The sweet water slide Chelsea bought. My kid is fearless. That thing is big and that water was coooold.

Garage sale finds.

Dirty feet. This goes hand and hand with putting a sunscreen smelling baby to bed.

Helping mow the lawn.

Sometimes Being A Parent Is Hard

2011-06-05T20:59:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon I called my mom. In my calmest, most sane voice, I asked her, politely, why she had never warned me against having kids. I mean, she had five, I thought she would've had some really good reasons for staying away from the whole being a parent thing. There's never been a mention of "days like these" from her. That's not true. I asked her one time why she thinks Maizey "fights" with her friends and when she thought it would end? She said never and told me that's why her and her girlfriends used to drink (does this ring a bell, Carolyn?!?!). (Sorry Mom). Once again, this time, she just laughed. At first she was on Maizeys side saying lots of realllllly helpful things like "oh, Maizey? My Maizey? That doesn't sound like her." and "Amy, that's funny... just relax about it." -
but by the end she was actually helpful.
I took her advice, mixed it with some of my own good sense, and came up with something that for the last two days, has worked for us.
Friday afternoon Brian and I looked at each other helplessly and asked who is this kid?? where did our little girl go? this kid? I could put her up for adoption. It was tough. And exhausting. I am not used to a high maintenance kid that is being, for lack of a better word, bad. Yes, she is nosy and likes to touch stuff that she shouldn't, but shes good about not wrecking things, making huge messes that she can't clean up and throwing fits over ridiculous things. For some reason, she woke up Friday morning ready to do all those things.
As Maizey gets older and more interested in the goings on around her, the more she needs. More stimulation, more challenges. And as long has these tools (or whatever!) at her disposal, she is her usual happy, easy going, easy to please self, that doesn't need constant supervision and attention.It just took "one of those days" for me to realize it.
Saturday morning I didn't give her the chance to be that beastly little girl. I kept her busy all morning, so she was good and ready for her nap and when she woke up we kept her busy until dinner, then she was good and ready for bed. It took seeing different things *good morning five garage sales!!* and different people and places. We casually walked through the car show, ate muffins and drank coffee, worked on a garage sale steal to get it ready to paint, helped Papa water his garden and feed the chickens, went fishing, attempted to build a sand castle, and read a ton of books. It was not a lot of work for me, it was just getting out of the house a lot more than usual. It was finding things that were interesting for her, as well as for me. No, there aren't garage sales and car shows every day, nor is heading to the lake to go fishing for hours on end always an option, but there are plenty of other things to discover... there are always rocks to be thrown, flowers to be picked, dirt to be shoveled, parks to be played at. Pools and libraries and friends to be played with. And when all else fails, t.v didn't kill me, an hour or two of Dora in the middle of the day won't kill her either.
Its these kind of realizations that makes being a parent easier. The finding what works for us that keeps us smiling and happy.
So tonight, I am back to that place. The one where I love my little girl.
I will just try to remember to learn and evolve and grow along side her, rather than try to fight her.
p.s Thanks Mom, and sorry for being bad (which I have a hard time believing I was really ever that bad).

Gardening And Watermelon

2011-05-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

My body is screaming YOU DID TOO MUCH YOU DID TOO MUCH GO TO BED... and to be honest, I did do too much. But that's ok, you know why? Because it was a beautiful day out, I got a lot of stuff accomplished, I ate watermelon, which hello, yum! that never hurts and come tomorrow morning, I won't be stiff anymore, so who really cares.
My garden is ready to be planted, and had the damn hardware had the seeds I wanted, it would be done, but alas that was not the case. So hopefully I will get that done in the next few days. I am so ready for fresh carrots!!
I planted one little planter. Now if the porch of our house didn't look so, um... rustic? (ha) it would look a lot nicer. Oh well, it will all come together in time.
The cute little bath tub in the back garden is weeded and ready for something to go in it.. any suggestions?? Its mostly in the shade.
Maizey and I walked with my friend formerly known as my running friend, who is now just my friend, since its been a really long hiatus from the running. We still work out most mornings, and today we just walked instead. We walked long, but not really fast and she helped me out at the end by pushing the stroller. Its nice to be able to drink coffee, chat and get some exercise all at once. Plus, I really like her, so an un-interrupted hour to just visit is good, really good.
And then we ate watermelon. Hello my summer love.

I did take a lot of pleasure in seeing Maizeys dirty little gardening hands wrapped around a piece of this seasonal deliciousness.

And in seeing the juice drip off her chin. Now that is someone that is really enjoying it!

Good day, really really good day. Besides the 5am wake up call and late nap.
But seriously, my body is screaming at me. Its bed time.

Maizey Knows

2011-05-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

The older Maizey gets, the more she gets things. She has expectations and ideas, she laughs at herself and us when we do funny things.
She remembers where she puts things, like the keys. There have been more than one operation find the keys, when we should have just asked her where she put them.
"Tees?"
Then I watch her casually make her way around the living room, with her hands in her pockets, kicking her heels, until she gets to her kitchen, where she lifts the sink out, peers in, looks at me all sweet-like, reaches her arm in and pulls out my keys that I have been searching for, for like, a good 10 minutes.
"I get them mama"
I found a red ball on the floor of the truck today, underneath a bunch of crap. I asked her where the ball came from and she answered me "Tuckers ball-ball", so I asked her where it came from and she said "no know" . Then I remembered that they were playing with it when we went fishing with Tucker and his dad, so she must have swiped it and we didn't notice. Sorry Tucker, we'll get that back to you!!
My point is, that she remembers things. And knows things. Things that I would probably never have thought she knew, or remembered.
She sings songs now, no they aren't word for word and she is bigger on doing the actions in the right order than saying the right words, but still, she totally knows songs. Happy Birthday. The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Elmos Song. Elmos Ducks.
Pretty soon there aren't going to be anymore secrets just between us... soon shes going to start ratting me out to Brian about where we were and what we were doing. Like how we stopped two blocks from home to eat the treat we bought so we don't have to share. *Ahem* not that that's ever happened. But if it does, I so will not be getting away with it very soon.

Nice To Meet You

2011-05-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I had to meet a lady whom I had only spoken to on the phone. I introduced myself and we shook hands. Maizey held her hand out to be shook and said "I'm Mimi" . The lady could not control her laughter.

This morning Maizey was telling me something very serious. She took my hand and led me to the fridge, so I opened it for her. She stood in front of it and said 'hmmm, peaches. ohhhh cado (her way of saying avocado). yep pickles. Ya, mama, pickles.' So, I fed her a pickle for breakfast.

She is speaking in sentences. If they were written sentences you would see periods between every. single. word.
Our conversations go something like this:
Mimi. coat. on.
mama. coat. on. too.
Yes, Maizey I am just putting my shoes on, I will put my coat on in a second.
mama. coat. on. now. outside.

Direct and bossy. That's my girl.

The Same But Different

2011-05-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

Twenty One Weeks. Over half way. I can hardly believe it.

Everything is slowly coming back to me, feeling familiar, yet foreign. The twinges and pangs are constant little reminders that I am growing a little human in there.
When pregnant with Maizey, I ate toasted tomato sandwiches for breakfast almost every morning. This time around, I still eat sandwiches, just cheese and pickle instead. ( I know, I know, pregnant woman buys pickles by the truck load, haha)
Last time, I had two cravings - five cent candies and a slurpee. Upon getting said items, I was left unsatisfied as I really don't care for either of those things. Again, this time, I got a weird (to me) craving, but this time, I was left feeling very satisfied. A soft ice-cream sundae from the Nomad. I am fearing that I am going to be all over that when the full blown hot weather gets here.
I had an intense feeling that Maizey was going to be a girl right off the bat. So much so, that when the doctor said "It's a girl", all I could think was Obviously. I already knew that. I have no idea this time. Not even a little bit. I was thinking boy in the beginning, but the dreaded love handles and back fat have started to make their grand entrance again (albeit, much much later this time), so now, I have NO idea.
This 15-year-old-boy-acne. Seriously. What the hell? I definitely did NOT have this with Maizey. And I really, really don't care for it. (For purely vain reasons, I will not be posting a picture of it. Yikes)
I am due a month later than my due date with Maizey. I wore maternity clothes a month earlier this time. Despite having gained approximately half the weight I did with Maizey, my belly is much bigger.

I feel the need to sleep a lot less, even though I think I am feeling more tired. Maybe I just had the time pre-Maizey to sleep more.

Regardless of all the differences, I am still remembering all the things that are the same. The excitement at more frequent and stronger action. The first time Brian felt a kick. The little Michelle Kwan moves going on in there, in what I can only assume is actually very little space. Its all so strange, yet not strange at all.
I am just one of those people that really does enjoy being pregnant.
This could very easily be the last time I am pregnant, so I am just going to savor every little feeling. Every new roll of back fat and all.

My view

Dont be distracted, like I am when I look at this photo, by my need to re-paint my toenails

Mothers Day

2011-05-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

So I have this little girl.
She made me a mama.
Nothing can compare to how much I love her.
Seriously, nothing.
I can't wait for the days of cold, soggy toast in bed and homemade cards with scribbles and misspelled words, all made with love.

(the one and only photo of the two of us from the whole day)

Mothers Day. Thanks to her *with a little help from her daddy* I know how much I am loved.

20 Month Old Maizey-isms

2011-05-03T21:28:00.000-07:00

Maizeys quirkiness is one of the things I love most about her. She does things that crack us up, all the time. Sometimes its the looks and actions, but more and more lately, its been the words she saying. Her vocabulary is getting so big, and she is testing out new words all the time. Sometimes, it takes a few tries to figure out exactly what she says, but the more we pay attention, the more we see just how many things she picks up on, and repeats.
I just want there to be a record of some of the cute little things she is saying and doing right now. She just hit the 20 month mark and all of a sudden, she has become a totally different little girl. Complete with tempter tantrums and all.

Me: So Maizey, we are going to have pizza for supper tonight.
Maizey: No, sushi.

***************
Maizey, how old are you?
Umm, six. No, two. uhhhh, eighteen months.

***************
A conversation with herself while she should have been sleeping:

Melmo Melmo Melmo... NAP
Baby Baby Baby... NAP

Then she quietly lays her blanket over them and kisses them

****************
Q: Are you going to have a bath after dinner tonight Maizey?
A: Bubbles?

****************
As the snow melted over the last few weeks, there was a ton of garbage left in the yard.
As she picked up a broken Tupperware container and a soggy smarties box, she was yelling at us - BARGAGE. BARGAGE. BARGAGE. We were saying, I have no idea what you are talking about.
It took a while to realize she was saying garbage all along.

****************
(Insert evil sounding laugh)
Ha Ha Ha Funny, Me. Ha Ha Ha.

****************
The conversations with herself are getting more interesting too.

Papa, house? No, Papa house.
Nana, house? No, Nana house.
Meow Meow house? Yes.

Dora Dora? No.
Max, Wudy? No.
Wee Vee, No.

Me's milp? There it is.
(asking where is my milk? Then answering, Oh, there it is)

For some reason... I can't think of anymore. Funny, when they happen, I am certain I will never forget them. I will try to remember more for another day.

A Non Bunny-ish Easter

2011-04-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

Easter came and went.
We aren't big on this holiday for some reason.
So little in fact, that the Easter Bunny forgot to come to our house ALL day yesterday. Finally made an appearance at 10:00 this morning. And to be honest, Maizey couldn't have cared less, she was most interested in the Easter grass crap that goes on the bottom of the basket and that can now be found all over the house, sticking to my feet.
Next year, I swear there will be an Easter egg hunt with those silly little plastic eggs filled with jelly beans and stickers. Swear.
What we are big on is afternoons at the flats. Brian's even got Maizey saying "welve mile" (twelve mile for non-Revelstokians, Brians favorite place to fish and my favorite place to sit in the sun and read).

It was the nicest Easter weekend in Revelstoke history, I'm sure. Temp's nearing +20 yesterday. So, after a 4 hour afternoon nap (ahem*Maizey*ahem) we packed up the lawn chairs and fishing rod (I would say rodS, but Brian is the only one with one, so he has to share. Let me tell you, he is not a big fan of sharing with me.), and headed out with snacks.
I like how when we arrive at the water we are in anticipation of something... catching a fish, running into people, getting stuck on the way there (ok, that's just me), will it be cold, will it be windy, will it be hot, will someone be in our spot? But as soon as we get out, and Brian throws his first cast and I feel the sand in my toes and breathe in the calm of the whole place, none of that matters.

Brian fishes, knowing full well that with the way Maizey and I are throwing rocks in, he probably isn't going to catch anything. But he fishes anyways.

He bends down and attempts to teach Missy to fish, but she's more interested in stopping his hand from spinning the reel . He reminds me again and again to pleeeease hold on better in case I "actually do catch a fish" that the rod doesn't go flying into the water with the yank of the fish. He knows there will be plenty of days where it will be just him out there getting some serious fishing in (ha), so he doesn't worry. He shows Maizey the rock he's going to skip before he does it almost every time. He kicks my ass at skipping rocks, seriously, the guys got skills.
I like how when we leave, I'm am just happy we went.

A Little Crush

2011-04-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

Celebrity crushes are a real thing. I would link to all I found when googling it, but there is some seriously disturbing stuff out there.
I can't say for sure who my first one was - probably Jonathon Taylor Thomas or someone along those lines. Of course, those were the days before the internet, so I had to resort to places like Teen Beat for pictures to hang on my wall. There was no 24/7 availability, it was once a month and that was if he was even in there. I did draw the line at pictures though. I couldn't tell you any of my famous crushes birth dates, their signs or their family history. I'm sure I was in the fourth or fifth grade when I saw JTT on Home Improvement and was smitten.

Maizey has apparently started much younger than that. Plus she is going to have it so much easier.

Last night when she was supposed to be watching Elmo on YouTube, I found her looking at this instead:

A-ha - BUSTED!
Wentworth Miller has caught Maizeys attention. Better known as Michael Scofield from Prison Break.
When confronted she wasn't even embarrassed

Then this morning, she asked to watch Dora, so I set out my computer for her to watch it on, and this is what I found:

For those who find Maizey-speak difficult to understand, she is saying "Michael! Michael!"

I have to say - Missy has got herself some good taste. Like Mother like Daughter.

Spring

2011-04-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Freshly painted toenails.
Lawn chairs.
Planting the garden.
Longer days.
No socks.
Sunglasses.
BBQ's.
Crisp mornings, warm afternoons, cool evenings.
Cold beer outside (*ahem* in another 5 months-ish)
The lake.
Fishing.
Sunlight flooding in through the windows.
Evening walks with the wagon.
Throwing rocks in the river.
Sprinklers.
Eating from the garden.
T-shirts.
Sunscreen.
Ice-cream.

Spring is pretttty much here... and we are ready.

My Grannie

2011-04-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

I was one of the lucky ones when I was a kid. I had grandparents, three of them, that I got to see all the time.

Five years ago on Halloween, I lost my Grampa. One of my most favorite people in this whole world. He was missing one of his pointer fingers so when he pointed, he had to use his middle finger. A fact that never lost its funniness to me. He taught us all to play crib, and to this day, I still don't know if I ever actually beat him, or if he just let me win those few times.

Last September, I lost my Nona. She taught me to make orange rice, most of us grandchildrens favorite meal she made, and whenever I am in need of comfort food, its what I always turn to. She taught me many things, the least of which was to be the boss, always. She lost a long fight, and while yes, I know it's better to not be suffering, it doesn't make it any easier.

That left only my Grannie. Yesterday, April 1st, quickly and unexpectedly, I lost her too.

I don't know if I have words to accurately describe what she meant to me. To any of us. She was strict and serious and funny and loving all at the same time. I think she was happiest when she had all her family around... she wanted nothing more than people to come and visit and eat what she cooked. She did love to cook. Her cookie can was always full. I learned from her that gossip is futile, and that is a rule she stuck to religiously. I never heard a bad word about another person come from her mouth.
I have to guess what my Grampa's relationship with great grandchildren would be like, and my Nona's as well, as she didn't have the opportunity to really get to know my brothers kids or Maizey. I am lucky not to have to guess what Grannies was like. I think she loved them even more than she loved all of us (grandkids), and she loved us A LOT. My sister in law took my nieces almost every week to visit and it made my Grannie so so so happy. She cooked deviled eggs for them (one whole egg, two halves, each) every Wednesday and just enjoyed watching them play.
It was always months in between visits for us, but for some reason I don't think Maizey ever forgot her. She made herself right at home, every time we went there. Maybe she smelled the cookies and was content. Hard to say. My Grannie was never one to dote, she always just took a more laid back approach. I think that's why Maizey always liked her so much, she didn't always want to hold her and touch her and be in her face, all things that Maizey has always appreciated.
Jaya was talking to my Mom yesterday afternoon, and with a big smile on her face told her that "Grannie Sheila is gone to heaven now" ...
I am not ready to smile, I am barely even ready to acknowledge it. There will be one tiny little white haired woman missing on holidays and trips home. Its hard to fathom.

Sharing Stuff

2011-03-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Earth Hour. One hour in the evening you shut all of the lights off in your house.

I convinced Brian to shut the lights off, but couldn't convince him to shut the computer down or turn off the t.v.

We were late starting by half an hour.

We had scheduled a two hour Prison Break marathon at 9:00p.m.

Precisely when we shut the lights off.

As I hurried getting ready for bed to watch the show, I went into the dark bathroom and felt around for my toothbrush. I came up with both Brian's and my own. I took them to the window at the back of the house to try and tell who's was who's.

Mine being the purple one, was lighter.

I brushed my teeth while he cursed at not being able to see while he shut up the house for the night.

He came to brush his teeth and I handed him the dry tooth brush.

"How do you know this one is mine?"

"First of all, because I'm awesome and second of all, because I checked in the light of the moon from the window. I'm smart like that"

"I don't trust you. You know how gross I think sharing tooth brushes is"

"What difference does it make now? I already brushed my teeth, and even if I was wrong, you aren't using mine. Plus, I'm awesome and checked in the moon light. Want me to show you?"

"No, I will just be smarter and check by the light of the fridge door being opened."

"Seriously? You are that worried about it? Here, look, I have them in the moonlight again. See, mine is the lighter one, the purple...
Um, wait, why does the purple kind of look neon green in this light?"

"Because you are not awesome and you used MY TOOTHBRUSH!! You know how sick I think that is.
gag- I think I just puked in my mouth. Thanks."

"I'm sorry. If you are really that grossed out, just run it under some really hot water and sterilize it. I think that works. If not, whatever, I am sure you have had more disgusting things in your mouth."

"I hate you"

True story. He didn't find it funny.

Fa La La La La

2011-03-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

I have been a bad blogger, I know. I have all these big ideas for posts and then I start to write them but just end up leaving the page open for hours on end. Nothing good to say, no good stories to tell, not even any pictures. Then the sun started shining and the snow started melting(ish) and all of a sudden I magically started to notice funny things again and pick up my camera again, and well, that may result in the worlds longest post. Just a little disclaimer.
:: The diaper situation has not been resolved. It hasn't gotten worse, but it still hasn't gotten better either. We talk to her about why she needs to keep her clothes on and why she can't take her diaper off. She nods and says ok, as though she gets it, but 15 minutes later, when we check again - naked. I am not opposed to duct tape, we just don't have any. I WILL get some.
:: Potty training... we have started, very slowly. She loves it - thinks sitting on the "pobby" is fantastic. We have had very little success with her actually going on the potty, but we have also had very few accidents, which to me almost feels like a win. Plus, Missy can hold her bladder, and as my friend Stacey told me, that's not something you can teach, so again, feels like a win.
:: The little 19month vocabulary is steadily growing. Her cognition is visible. We say it to her, she watches and nods and smiles and copies. Whenever the situation arises again, she says it without being prompted. She dumps her water on the floor then yells "MESS" at me. Today she was quietly eating her bowl of soup in the kitchen while both Brian and I were in the living room. We heard a crash and got up to see what it was. Turned out she wasn't quietly eating, she was quietly throwing handfuls of soup all over the place, the crash was her bowl hitting the floor. We both gasped and rushed at her. This is what she said: "MESS, yucky, down." While showing us her hands that were clearly "yucky". It was bad and hilarious at the same time. We hid our laughing faces from her so as to be stern, but it was hard. Her total awareness that it was a mess, it was yucky and she did want to get down was clear. I am trying to sensor myself but honestly, I am not that good at it. I have tried to start saying "what the mother of crap"... I figure that is less offensive should she ever copy it, which I know is inevitable.
:: Elmo has become a bit of a big deal around here. We watch clips on YouTube and we bought her an Elmo doll, which she sleeps with, hugs, kisses and carts around the house. We skyped with my dad and she all of a sudden started singing Elmos song. Which for her went something like hmmm hm hmm hmmm hmm Melmo Melmo Melmo hmmm hm hm.

Elmo even gets to be in on snack time

:: the Rubber Boots. Behold the greatest purchase of the year:

They are a size too big so she had trouble maneuvering them in the beginning, always tripping over the toes, but shes mostly figured them out now. Everyone we meet on the street that makes eye contact with her, she lifts her foot for and exclaims "BOOPS!!". She loves them.
:: She also loves puddles.

:: She also loves putting her hands in the puddles and then sucking the water off them.

:: St Patricks Day came along and we realized that due to the fact someones wardrobe seriously lacks in the green department, she had to spend the day dressed as an '80s aerobics instructor.

But she did get to splash in some snowy slushy puddles, so she didn't care.

Spring is coming. I am not discounting the fact that it could snow at any given second around here, but I have been praying to the sun gods that it will just stay nice for a little while longer, in hopes that the "little while longer" will get us through to April, then on into May. I am not opposed to sun dances either. We are wearing less coats and more vests and lighter hats and no mitts. We go for walks in running shoes rather than boots and we wear sunglasses. We open windows and let the dust get stirred up. We also see a whole lot more dust with the sun shining in. I, for one, let the dust stay where it is, cuz when the sun is shining, this mama is getting her ass outside. We busted out the wagon yesterday and took a stroll in it... the way Maizey sat all perfect and still in it with a big grin on her face, you would've thought she was Miss. Revelstoke riding atop the float in the parade in a pretty white dress and gloves. She could not have been happier. Soon it will be bbq's, bocci, gardening and grass.We are more than ready.

Stonger Tape

2011-03-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

So we are having this... I dunno, I hesitate to call it an issue... this... situation... occurrence... happening... in our house right now. Its been going on for about a month or so. I guess it could be called an issue, since three times now it actually has been an issue... I posted awhile ago about the crazy scenes we come into when we check on Maizey at night - one leg out of her sleeper, two legs, one arm, her diaper half off and so on. Then she started actually taking her p.j's totally off. Then she started taking her diaper all the way off too. Now, she won't keep either her p.j's or her diaper on, any night or morning. We find it really cute and hilarious and I take a picture of my tiny little naked girl asleep in her bed cuddling Elmo and her blankets all the time. We just get her re-dressed before we go to bed, or as many times as we find her naked before we go to bed, and we almost always wake up to a mostly naked Missy. Its not a big deal that shes naked... I always envisioned a naked toddler. Its the messes that are a big deal. It doesn't always happen, in fact, it's quite rare for there to be a mess in her bed, but when there is... its not cool. And you know why? Because out of all the naked nights and mornings, shes only peed the bed twice. Its the other mess that's bad and not funny. Its gross. Three times, that's all. But all three times, its been only me home and me that has to clean it up. Not that it would be better if Brian were home to do the clean up, it needs to not happen at all... I'm just saying, it would be easier for me. I have heard (what I consider to be) horror stories of kids taking their diapers off and playing in it, so I guess it could be worse, but none the less, its gross.
A few weeks ago we started looking for ways to get her to stop doing it, but she's outsmarted us every time. At first, she couldn't get out of two piece p.j's, so she wore them every night... till she figured them out. Next we tried putting her sleepers on backwards - genius, right? Only for two nights. Then BAM, figured that out too. Then we tried taping the diaper on, since that's really the big deal. Again, two nights was all that lasted, now we find pieces of tape all over her bed, stuck to Elmo's head, the bars and her blankets. I know now that I don't need to go on that show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. I'm not even smarter than an eighteen month old.
I think stronger tape (i.e DUCT tape) is our next option. Besides getting her potty trained.
Any suggestions?

Pregnancy Bump...In The Road

2011-03-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

I don't always have the easiest time admitting it when things change. I am fully aware of my capabilities and limitations and of myself. I am honest about what I can do, want (or not) to do, and what I am still learning to do. I very rarely think I can't do something. When I am physically unable to do something, I first think about a way around it, then either continue or pass it off to Brian. Take shoveling the driveway right now, for example. The banks are too high on both sides for me to throw the snow over them (thank you short genes), or atleast even get it to the top. So with every shovel full, I get all that snow, plus what comes with it, back on the ground a few feet in front of me. I don't mind doing the shoveling at all, so I tried another way... shovel it all to the end of the driveway, onto the street and let the plow take it away. It sounded good in theory, but honestly, it's SO heavy and we aren't guaranteed that the plow is going to make it down our street. So, I handed all the shoveling duties off to Brian. He respectfully declined, and now our driveway hasn't been shoveled for the last three snows. Whatever, I was told a long time ago to choose my battles wisely. I am okay with knowing that I can't shovel right now... there are plenty more winters to come where I will do my fair share. That being said, I don't love admitting that I can't do it, and seeing that it needs to be done and knowing that I can't go do it.
Yesterday I met my first pregnancy related limitation. I didn't love learning this lesson, even a little bit. I have kept up my 5 day a week (usually) workout regime since I found out about Swarly. I admit I was nervous to do much, but once I saw it was fine, I was fine. So far I have maintained pretty much the same intensity I always did. I was feeling proud and strong. Then yesterday happened. Stacey wanted to do some squats. Jump squats. So we came up with this pyramid structure... she does one, I do one, she does two, I do two, etc etc, until 10, then come back down, she does nine, I do nine, she does eight, I do eight. We have done it before with push ups and it was awesome. I made it up to the 10... then I had to lay on the floor and let the sick feeling pass. I needed water and a break. After 55 squats. I can't remember the last time that happened.
It was a very rude awakening.
Yes, I stopped and let it pass. And no, I did not continue at the same intensity. But, I did feel ridiculous and weak. I had both Brian and Stacey assuring me I was neither of those things, so I was thankful for that. But it was still hard on my head, to have it happen. It's easy to see the physical changes going on - any random person can see it, its not as easy for my head to admit it. Or give in to it. I like being capable of anything I want, that's how I roll. So this? Not cool, okay?
I finished my work out yesterday and didn't cry (right now, I totally consider that a win). I will take it down a notch next workout. I will remember that my body is growing a baby, its not in training for a marathon (well a running marathon, anyways) and that that is hard work. I will be kind to it and appreciate that I am strong and capable and this doesn't mean I'm not. It just means that things are changing and I have to go with it.

Swarly

2011-03-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

About 6-ish weeks ago I was sweeping the floors. It was a very very snowy day in January. I felt the need to open all the windows wide just to get some air and ease the crazy hot flash I was experiencing.

What the mother of crap is going on? Menopause? So young? Seriously? Oh my effing god, am I pregnant?? Yes, yes I am. I think. Am I? Let me do the math. For real? How did this happen? So, uh, Bri, I think I'm pregnant.

And that's pretty much how our conversations went for the next two days until I did, in fact confirm, that yes, I was (and am) pregnant!!! Those conversations have changed now to yayyy, I'm pregnant!! Bri, we're going to have another little baby, yayyy!

Our little family is about to become four. September 25th is our official due date... two years and one month between Maizey and this little one, who from here on in will be referred to as Swarly. No, that name is not in the running to be an actual name, its just a funny name that we got off of How I Met Your Mother. I had an ultrasound on February 18th that confirmed there is only one little Swarly in there, and that he/she was approximately 23mm long. We could see little arm and leg buds and a little flickering heart beat.

Now for the kicker. I am 11 weeks along. When I was pregnant with Maizey I diligently took monthly photos of my belly. The first 5 months of photos there was very little change in my belly size... just a big change in the rest of my body size. Believe me, it was not awesome to hear people say 'ohhh I couldn't even tell" when I was 6 months along and 20 pounds heavier. This time, I don't think that will happen. Here's why:

The left photo is Maizey in my belly at around (edited to say) 9 weeks. The right photo is Swarly at around (edited to say) 10.5 weeks. So I know its not that far along, despite me looking really far along... its alright with me, as long as it stays belly!!!
I loved being pregnant last time, although the hot summer almost killed me. I am looking forward to all of it again.

(and p.s. I don't need anyone to explain how this happened. I know how this happens... I just don't KNOW how this happened! if you know what I mean!!)

On Being Nicer

2011-02-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

I have 5 minutes *give or take* to myself. Brian and Maizey just quickly went to get batteries. I feel like relaxing in a steaming hot bubble bath. Instead I will frantically type this post that says I have 5 minutes to myself and I wanted it and further more, needed it. Before someone is home and standing beside me whining over and over again for "Doa Doa Doa Doa Doa Doa" (her way of asking to watch Dora) and someone else is repeatedly asking me ridiculous questions like "have you seen my tape measure" and "Remember when I put the fan up in the living room and it came without all the screws? Well, the screws came in the mail, do you remember where I put all the tools that I used to put it together with? I need the little screw driver" - to which my response will be... silence.
I'm pissy today for no good reason. I wanted to go out of town for the night, but with Brians job unpredictability, we couldn't make it work. I know its not his fault, but still... I'm pissy about it, and I'm acting like a 6 year old. To my own demise, this has always been my problem... I get an idea in my head and then its as good as done. So when it falls through I am always disappointed and then, well, not very nice. Poor Brian. And poor me. I know I know, don't feel too sorry for yourself Amy, its your own fault. But for the record, I don't want to be miserable, or mean or whatever and I AM trying to be nice and not jerk-ish, I'm just not sure how good of a job I'm doing. Although, I did empty the dishwasher, which I loathe doing and always ask Brian to do, so that says something right?
In an attempt to snap out of this, I am taking action.. Its a beautiful (albeit, very very cold) day out, so while Maizey is down for a nap I am going out in search of something happy. Not sure what I will find or where I will find it, but it is my mission to come home with a smile.
Good luck to my family. I promise this won't last forever.

Home

2011-02-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

WE ARE HOME!

Three and a half weeks... and its good to be home. Our stuff is still in piles at the front door, I'm okay with it. Our driveway is one big drift of snow and I'm okay with that too. The front door is in need of a body check to get it open, like a really hard body check, thanks to the shifting of the snow on the roof of the carport. So as to be able to actually, you know, open the door from the inside and not, say, need to call Ang to come and open it from the outside so you aren't, um, stuck inside, Brian took a hammer to the door frame, making a big mess all over the floor and making the door frame look ridiculous. It's alright, atleast we can get in and out now.
Which leads to my next thought. Uhhh Winter? You can go away any time now. We've had our snow angel, ski days, shoveling fun, it's time now for it to be over. Oh and also? We don't live on the prairies anymore, so minus twenty? This is no place for you. Blowing snow and drifts? Ya, you either.
Our house is substantially colder than Brians parents. Something to do with a more effective heating system that doesn't cost nearly as much to use (ahem - wood furnace - ahem)... I don't know, all I know is now I feel like a popsicle.
Maizey is going to miss staying at Nana and Papas the most, I think. She took a real liking to the 'meow meow' and felt it to be her life goal to get the 'meow meow' to like her back. The cat was having none of that and I think by the end preferred to stay outside rather than be tormented, er, loved on. She would have played outside all day if we had let her. She pulled her little sled all around, she watched us feed the chickens and tried to climb the snow banks. She threw sticks for the dog and wouldn't turn around at the end of the driveway to go back unless Leda was on her way too. She loved the freedom that being outside with so much space to venture out on her own allowed and we loved that she could do that. We didn't need to be right beside her all the time and we could watch her test her little boundaries with herself. Our little independent soul. She could tell when we were leaving this morning that it was different, she cried all the way out the driveway "puppy puppy puppy". Yes, it's different at our own house, but still, it is really nice to be home.

Snippets

2011-02-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

These last two weeks... wow, where has the time gone?? In between the pancakes and wiener roasts and chickens and snow, we seem to have lost track of time. We are looking after Brians parents place while they are away and while we were picturing a snowy mountain vacation, there are definite moments where its more like holy hell this is a lot of work! with a little side of vacationing. We sip hot tea at night in front of the t.v (I forgot how great actual t.v is - oh how I've missed you sitcoms!), take the occasional afternoon nap, alright more than occasionally, we don't bother getting dressed underneath our snow pants, or even sometimes at all. There have been many days when we don't make it to town and that's ok. Because aside from the vacationy-like bits, there is plowing and shoveling and filling the wood burning furnace and feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs and cleaning the eggs and delivering the eggs. There's a horse and a dog and cat that all need to be fed and watered. When I was a kid, these would have been everyday, mundane tasks. Just things that had to be done. Now that we don't have to worry about livestock, and our driveway is a mere 2 cars long and our heat is maintained by the flip of a switch, these tasks have become... well... work. Weird, right? My how times change. But, it's good and we love being here and doing it, so that makes it easier. Plus, Maizey loves the getting outside a few times a day and can roam wherever she pleases and we don't even hardly have to keep an eye on her. She wanders towards the horse, until he looks at her, then she screams and comes running back. She wanders towards the chickens until she hears the squawking, then comes running back. She's fostering a little relationship with the dog, which is fantastic for us to see, since she has been deathly afraid of dogs since, oh, the beginning of time. She still gets frightened if she's startled by the dog, but other than that, she pets Leda and tries to hug her and runs after her. It's actually cute, even I, the non dog lover, can admit.

Snippets of our last two weeks:

GRANNIE
My mom came for the weekend and it was heaven. Maizey even got to eat cookies for breakfast while my mom let me sleep in. At first I was all WTF mom?? Then I remembered that some things are worth a few extra minutes of sleep. So I let it go.

She read stories and played games and watched Dora and went for walks. Drank coffee and cooked her little heart out. It was heaven.

SLEDDING AND HOT DOGS

We had an afternoon of tobogganing and a wiener roast last weekend. Most people ended up not showing up, but what we lacked in attendance we made up for in awesomeness when we did some sprint training pulling laughing kids on sleds and roasting hot dogs on a fire, which I haven't done in, I dunno, like 10 years. Well, maybe not that long, but it's been a looong time and I forgot how delicious they are. Maizey wasn't so into the hot dogs, but she did have fun roasting them!

VISIT WITH FRIENDS
Our friends Jordan and Carla made a surprise trip over on Saturday just in time for the wiener roast. They wound up spending the night, which meant we got some quality time with sweet baby Hayzel...oh and Jordan and Carla too!

PLOWING SNOW WITH DAD
With the insane amount of snow we've been getting, we've been spending a ton of time outside, getting rid of it, so we can, you know, drive and stuff. Maizey loves loves loves riding on the tractor with Daddy.

BREAKFAST
We have a big discussion every morning about what we should have for breakfast. And girlfriend knows what she wants.
Should we have poached eggs for breakfast?
No
Should we have toast for breakfast?
No
Should we have cereal for breakfast?
Yes!!
Ok, what kind?
Eerios!!

Should we have french toast today?
No
Should we have bagels?
No
Should we have pancakes?
Yes!!

We've suddenly become a pancake family. My mom made them when she was here, now we've had them three times in the last week! Whip cream and berries and all!

WATCHING DORA
We can't seem to find any Dora on the satellite so we have to use Netflix, which means Maizey has to sit in the computer chair in the office to watch it. She's cool with it. But she did try to reach for the desk and the rolling chair shot out behind her and she came crashing down. It's ok, shes fine now!

SNOW
More photos just for good measure!

(see Jade, that's totally a priceless piece of art!!!)

Happy shoveling, or vacationing or whatever it is you are doing! Thanks for the blog birthday love! I loved it!

Happy First Birthday Blog!

2011-01-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

One year I have enjoyed the company of my little friend, my blog. I didn't know what to expect when I started it, nor did I know if I even had the drive to actually, you know, write it! Well, it turns out I do!
This little space has been used exactly as it was intended - to document milestones, learn lessons about my self, share stories about being home with my kid and just get things out there, for people to take or not take, like or not like. Thanks to my faithful readers! Looking forward to another year!

Where We Are

2011-01-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

Our life seems to be flying by and we barely have a chance to catch up, even though it also seems like we are hardly doing anything other than staying dry in the house and watching our laundry pile get bigger and bigger. Not sure what it is... maybe its the groundhog day-ish-ness that seems to be going on right now with the constant rain. Every day, rain. Its killing me. Is it too much to ask for just one day of sun?? I would gladly take the -30 if it meant I got to see that big burning ball, for real. With staying home so much, comes a lot more time spent just Maizey and I. It's been fun, we read about 40 books a day (or more like the same books over and over until we get to 40), we watch Dora, sing, play, nap, cook (and eat). Its these past few days (weeks?) that I have noticed how grown up my baby is getting. So, before I jump into a 'this is what stage we are in' spiel, I just want to say that I really could not be more thankful that I get the chance to stay home every day with my girl. Its the most amazing luxury to be able to stay home and while, yes I do get breaks and have my own time and its very much needed in order to be this present and happy mom, I do know that I am thrilled to be here and grateful that we are able to do it, financially and otherwise.
SO, with that said, here we are quickly approaching 17 months and while I know I have thought this at every stage, this one is so unbelievably fun and I am loving every thing about it. Could it really get better than this?
The things she learns every day are so surprising that we are sometimes left speechless while laughing.
We read this story called Goodnight Gorilla every day, multiple times, and have for many many months. The last page is two speech bubbles that say "Goodnight Gorilla" and "Zzzzz" . So we say goodnight gorilla and make the snoring sound. A few nights ago I was going to bed and when I went to check on Maizey on my way, she was awake. I asked her if she wanted to come to my bed for a bit, she said yes. When in my bed, she would not lay down, not stop playing, not stop looking for DADDA!!! *who was working* and showed no sign of going to sleep anytime soon. When I was at the end of my rope I tried ignoring her. A few seconds in, she laid her head down on my pillow. Perfect, I thought. Then the fake snoring started. How am I supposed to ignore her when shes doing that, because let me tell you, my baby fake snoring is so freaking funny.
Her vocabulary is growing by the minute - she will repeat almost anything you ask her to.
She relates words with what they are. We tell her to say Leda-Lou, she says Pupppppy!!
She watches Dora a few times a week (maybe more?!) and has really started listening and paying attention. When Dora says 'Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?" She answers MAP!!
She goes down for a nap with socks on, but always gets up barefoot.
She knows where we're going when we turn off the highway - 'Papa!!! Nana!!!'
Shes asks for what food she wants - 'cheese' 'eerriooosss (cheerios)' 'nanna' 'chips' 'wa-wa (water)'
We find her numerous times a day in the bathroom, getting herself 2 squares of toilet paper and sitting on her potty. No need to pee, just wipe.
I find her in crazy ways when I check on her before I go to bed. One leg out of her sleeper, one arm out, 2 legs out, no diaper on. I would love to be a fly on the wall in her room while shes in bed, supposed to be going to sleep. I just want to know what lead to these scenes.

Shes decided she likes going front-ways down the stairs. And with every stair she goes down she says JUMP with a little hop before plopping down on her butt and going to the next stair.
She also 'jumps' over anything she can, a toy, my foot, the crack between the lino of the kitchen and the laminate of the living room.
She knows who's cell phone is who's.
Anytime one of us sits down at the computer she says 'Nannie' and wants up. She thinks we are always skyping with Grannie.
We are still waiting for her to turn into a snuggler... we are starting to think its a lost cause now. She gives multiple kisses to her stuffed animals and toys, but rarely ever to us. She has always been this way, never big on the cuddling, and hugging, but I still wish!!
I am just so often left in awe of this whole being a parent thing. I am loving watching her find her way with her friends and watching her little personality grow and form into the person she's going to be. My little passionate, attentive, laugh-loving little girl. Look out 17 months, we don't know what its going to be like, but I am betting its going to be just as fun as the rest!

We Laugh At Things Like This

2011-01-20T15:37:00.000-08:00

We ordered sushi last night for supper, since we all love it.

Maizey loves the tofu in the Miso Soup the best. Brian was giving her some spoonfuls of the broth...we thought it was hilarious!! (You might have to turn up the sound to get the full effect!)

My Love

2011-01-17T22:04:00.000-08:00

A little mini-me. She has my attitude, hair, nose and fantastic sense of humor, obviously.
I pick a hair off my pants, she does too.
I say 'Oh Maizeyyyy'
She says 'Oh mamaaaaa'
This little girl, she gets me every time, with her laughs and yells and smiles and screams.

Mama loves you very very much Maizey Rae. Thank you for being you.

A Coffee And A Ski

2011-01-09T20:48:00.000-08:00

Skiing made me tired. But you know what I do when I'm tired? I quit being tired, and be awesome instead. (totally stolen from How I Met Your Mother)
So that's what I am trying to do, but to be honest, I am really exhausted... so forgive me now if this post totally sucks.
We skied today, four of us girls and it was SO much fun! I feel like a blue bird day on top of these incredible mountains while hanging out with your friends and knowing that there is nice frosty beer waiting for you at the end of the day is pretty much the epitome of totally freaking awesome. Because for real, today was totally freaking awesome. When I cut my last ski pass off my jacket this morning, I looked at the date on it. January 28, 2008. What the eff?? I really haven't skied in almost three years? Well that explains the burning quads and throbbing arms right now. It's totally worth it though.

I want to go every day!!
I was a little worried about you know, falling and stuff. Its been three years for the love of god. I thought for sure that I had totally forgotten what to do. I didn't forget, but it did take a minute or two to get back in to the groove. Get my shoulders pointing the right way and remembering to actually use my poles instead of just carrying them around for fun. Actually point my skis down. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes I have a hard time telling myself to do it. I have to have a little argument in my head first "well how do you think you're going to get down if you won't point your skis down and actually make yourself gooo???"
Fineeeee. I always get there, even though sometimes its not that easy. But the reward is always there, at the end, when I make it down without a broken leg or something and we all laugh and talk about this totally epic day we are having. Just knowing that I can do this, that I have the ability, the desire and the *ahem* skills to do it is a little reward in itself.

plus, this view isn't so bad! Although, the really cold wind at the top made it hard to take a second to enjoy the view, I did have the nerve to take off my mitts to get this picture. It was worth it.

I think its safe to say that we will be going again, right friends??

We were bid a sweet farewell. Its hard to say no to something this beautiful.

::::

On the same but kind of different note, we have been enjoying the hell out of this winter. We have been walking a LOT, I am keeping my eye on kijiji and Craigs List for snowshoes and we've been drinking hot chocolate. Yum. Maizey had it for the first time when we decorated the Christmas tree (whenever that was... it feels so long ago now) and loved it. She had it again yesterday and all she could say was 'mmmmm' and 'yep, yep, yep' while nodding and pointing to her cup. I guess she thought she should have more.

Since I got a fancy dancy Espresso Machine for Christmas (did I mention that I got a fancy dancy espresso machine for Christmas? I feel like maybe I haven't) I have been you tubing the hell out of how to make latte art. Like those fun little hearts and leaves and if you're really lucky, maybe an elephant or something. It's not nearly as easy as they make it look in all those videos for the record. When I am lucky enough to get a coffee that has a nice little picture on it, it totally (I mean totttttaaaalllllyyy) makes my day. Yesterday, I made myself a coffee when I made Maizey hot chocolate and guess what? I totally made MY OWN day!!

I am tired now, for real. So friends, what is making your day these days?
Hoping its delicious (and nice looking) coffee and skiing. If it is, lets share stories. If it isn't, that's ok, lets share stories anyways.

Snow Day

2011-01-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

I started this post last night but about 2 minutes in, Brian opened a bag of my favorite chips (Ruffles Hot Wings) and turned on my new favorite show (How I Met Your Mother), so I quit this to do that.
But guess what? Its still snowing, so now its more like Snow FOR Days.
Yesterday afternoon Brians mom called to tell me that we had been issued a Snowfall Warning. We get a shit-ton of snow, yes, but it always seems alarming when they feel the need to warn us. We are always expecting it, so how bad can it be if we need to be warned? Well, so far its been 36cm's bad. I know people exaggerate when it comes to snowfall... it may feel like 3 feet, but its not. Its just over one foot. Anyways, it's a lot. I always like the big dumps at this time of year, January, the beginning of our loooong winters. Come March I won't be so thrilled to see it, as us in these parts like to call it, puking out.
Stacey and I walked yesterday afternoon for our daily dose of exercise. Walking in the snow is hard, what with the slippery-ness and the muscles always clenched ready to stop your feet from coming out from underneath you without any notice.

We walked and talked and enjoyed the snow. We discussed the reasons why sometimes we remember places and people and things differently than the way they really are. I use to think that the hills in Turner Valley were huge, but in comparison to here, they are tiny. But not in comparison, they really are big. So why do I feel the need to compare?

We stopped and made snow angels. Actually, I was the only one that laid in the snow... not surprising.

The crazy way the wet snow was landing on and sticking to Stacey's eyelashes.

This morning she came over again, we shoveled a small path out to the street, put Maizey in the backpack and trudged our way to Angs for a snow shoveling party. I mostly just wanted a coffee and baileys from her, but first I had to work. There ended up being four of us and the two kids. A lot of snow can be shoveled in a short amount of time with 3 shovels going and a sled puller for the wee ones! We got a good workout out from the shoveling and Jade got a good workout from the sprint training while pulling a 25lb-ish sled behind her. Plus, Angs driveway is clean, so bonus!

I know it looks like she is trying to make out with the branch, but shes not! She just likes to eat snow.

Both Maizey and I came home exhausted. The fresh air combined with the laughing and shoveling and the great friends all leave me happy tonight. For some this much snow results in a state of emergency. For us it results in neighbors lending a helping hand with a snow blower, a good walk to enjoy the snow and help a friend out, and a whole lot of happy skiers and sledders.
Its starting to snow again.

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not so big on 'resolutions', unless the possibilities of the 'resolution' are endless. Like I swear to never have a quit smoking 'resolution', not only because I don't smoke, but also because there are only two outcomes of that - either I quit or I don't. Black or White. And since I like to think of myself as more of an inbetweener, I don't want the answer to either be yes or no, do or don't. I want to know that even if I don't succeed at the proposed 'resolution' I at least found some other benefit from it.
I also don't like telling my version of 'resolutions' because sometimes I just don't want to hear other people tell me that I am not doing right. When it's my idea of a 'resolution', I decide when I am doing it right, not my trying-to-be-helpful and meaning well friends. That doesn't mean I don't want opinions, but sometimes I just want to be the only one that decides when things are done properly. When I was in college, I lived up the hill from campus, so it was pretty far away, but I found out that my friend that lived just down the street from me walked to school every day. I decided to walk with her one day, and realized it was great and I loved it and I decided I would too start walking. I walked every single day for months. One day I slept in and knew I wouldn't make it in time if I walked, so I drove. When I got to class not rosy cheeked or dressed exceptionally warm a classmate asked if I had driven. When I replied yes, he told me I cheated, like I had to walk every day with out fail or else I wouldn't graduate. I was pissed. The worst part was that, just to make a point, I drove every day for the rest of the week after that. Which made me even more pissed. It was a vicious cycle and I decided he was stupid and if I wanted to walk, I should and if I didn't want to or didn't have time, then I didn't have to. End of story. And that wasn't even a 'resolution' that I had made, it was just a decision I made based on the fact that I like the fresh air and I didn't want to pay the one dollar a day for parking. But I knew then that its not always a good idea to mention exactly what you are doing, because sometimes people (meaning to or not) make you feel crappy when you don't do exactly what you had intended to.
With that being said, I have decided I am not going to make any 'resolutions' this year. I am just going to live my life with an intention. To be happy, content, satisfied, loved, aware, awake, oozing all that is good about our life. To do what we want, when we want. To worry less about things that are out of our control. To relish in the days when we are tired and lay around on the couch in our p.j's. The possibilities are endless, therefore as long as I am happy with what I am doing then I am living according to my 'resolution'. Yes I feel the need to put quotations around 'resolution' . In the end, I think if you live everyday with the only intention being to be happy, if at the end of the day you've done that, then you have succeeded. I want to know by how my happy-meter is rating whether I have succeeded or not. I have always tried to live somewhat this way, but in getting older, more things to worry about have come up. And more crappy people have walked through my life. And I have seen sadness and weakness and despair that I didn't use to know was there. It's all part of the process I suppose, so now I need to get to a point where I accept all that life has to offer and STILL live with being happy as my main goal.
My amazing little family has certainly made this goal much easier. I am constantly reminded of the pure joy that comes with having a baby. Toddler. Shes quickly becoming a toddler. She makes me laugh to no end, lots of times when I know I shouldn't. She is such a free spirited little soul who knows what she wants. She finds endless joy in reading the same books over and over, "talking on the phone", taking our hand and leading us to things she wants to show us and singing and dancing. Besides the tiny little beast she can become when either tired or teething, she is just really fun to be around.
Then there is my husband. My rock that shows me how to throw the worry I seem to carry around with me, away. We are so completely different, I use to sometimes be shocked at us even getting along. But we do, we can laugh at each other, or rather with each other, we can fight about whether the magic bullet will actually grind coffee or not, and then enjoy a nice latte together moments later. We work. And that's perfect for me.
Together we all add up to a family with the same idea. Find the happiness and live it. Every. Single. Day.
So here's to 2011.
Happy New Year Family and Friends.

The One Where I Talk About Wanting to Eat Healthy

2010-12-27T21:23:00.000-08:00

Does every other parent out there always feel the need to justify why they do the things they do?

Four years ago I made a choice to be healthy. I was 23 years old and decided it was now or never. I have always been active, but I wanted to make it a point to ACTUALLY be healthy. I had stopped eating fast food six years ago when I found out that eating a Big Mac was equivalent to eating four pieces of pizza (or something along those lines. But it should be said I do still eat Subway and Tim Hortons and the occasional Opa Souvlaki!). I made crazy huge lifestyle changes to the way I ate and how much alcohol I drank. I started running five days a week with my running friend Stacey. She had also made a decision to be healthy. Turned out I loved running so it was perfect. Lo and behold, I lost FORTY FREAKING POUNDS!!!!! No one was more surprised or proud than me. Those changes are here to stay.
When I found out I was pregnant I was most excited about not measuring one tablespoon of salad dressing... I figured I could let that one go while pregnant. I did not immediately go on this crazy pregnant eating binge, eating ice cream and pizza for two all day. I gained a normal amount of weight while pregnant and besides a few snide remarks about being "so huge" I was happy with the way I looked. Maizey was two months old when I started working out regularly again and along with eating a well balanced diet (on purpose) and the help of nursing a baby, the weight slowly and surely came off. I may not be the slimmest or the most toned or fit, but I am healthy. I have a healthy BMI and I plan to keep it that way.
We have days when we eat crap. Of course. But I can let those go because I know it won't lead to me ever being that un-healthy again. Brian, luckily, just likes to eat, so if I cook healthy food, he eats it. He doesn't eat baked goods for the most part anyways, so the fact that we don't keep them in the house doesn't bother him. He eats this way because I do and that's fine with him.
When we started Maizey on solids we talked a lot about what and how and when she would get certain things. We agreed that she didn't need much in the way of refined foods, including sugar. So, to the best of my knowledge, in her whole first year she didn't have a lick of sugar. After she turned one, we started broadening her scope of foods to include more than just whole foods. We didn't broadcast that we fed her healthy foods intentionally, we just did it. But rest assured it was intentional. Amazingly, the second she turned one and got to eat a huge piece of birthday cake, it was assumed that it was now a free for all on the junk food. Baked goods, cakes, chips, ice cream, fried food, juice, fruit loops, to my HORROR - POP. Brian and I honestly turned to each other helplessly. How do you say to some one No, she can't have that GIANT piece of banana chocolate chip bread for a pre-lunch snack, with out coming off as a totally righteous bitch who clearly thinks the way they raised and fed their kids is wrong??? If you know, please fill me in. Its not that she can't have some banana bread, its the timing, the portion size and regularity that we concern ourselves with.We just want Maizey to know when something is a treat and to have a general idea about how to eat a well balanced diet. And we think that as parents, its never to early to teach those kind of lessons.
I don't judge people when they feed their kids refined foods or junk. For all I know, it could be a special occasion that only happens once in a blue moon. Or it could be a regular thing, I don't care. You feed your kid whatever you like. But please don't judge me and call me out because I don't let my one year old have four cookies or a big slice of apple pie with two scoops of ice cream.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-26T21:11:00.000-08:00

Just like that, it's over. Christmas came amidst a lot of hectic-ness this year, family and otherwise. I did not feel prepared, but I tried to remind myself that it really doesn't matter, the day is going to come regardless, so just let it go. It came and it went, I didn't get organized and guess what... it really didn't matter.
So we indulged in our Christmas festivities with our usual excitement and ate all the Christmas food with our usual heartiness. Back to the post-Mexico detox I go!!!
Maizey took it all in with wide eyes. She really didn't know what the heck was going on, what with all the presents and talk about this Santa character.

When asked if she was excited that Santa was coming she declared NO. Maybe she was remembering when I tried to sit her on Santa's lap, which she was NOT cool with. She got a Dora water bottle in her stocking, so she just really wanted to hang out with that. Talk to it. Kiss it. Drink out of it. Play with it. She opened a present that was a book, so we had to stop so Dad could read it to her.

She would pick one little piece of wrapping off, give it to us, pick another, stop and take a drink from Dora, pick another piece, etc etc etc. It was so... endearing? Is that the right word? Perfect? I don't know... typical? This girl isn't about the destination, shes all about the journey to get there.

We slowly made our way to Brian's parents for more present opening, more coffee and Baileys and more food.

I have mentioned before - we are not so much about the spoiling Maizey with 'stuff'... mostly because 'Stuff' will be the death of me. We instead go for the spoiling her with creating memories and with actions and a whole lotta love. I'm not ashamed to admit this. We talk a lot about how to raise a kid that is appreciative and thoughtful and knows that shes loved not by what she gets, but by how we act. The holidays is the perfect time of year to do this, in my opinion. We made this year all about being with people we love.
Our favorite Aunty Myrna lost her battle yesterday. Christmas Day. It took all we had to get our dinner on the table. There were a lot of tears and a lot of story telling. We laughed a lot about what Myrna would be doing and saying. She had this knack for making a regular old family dinner feel like a party. It was a reminder of what really is important. I know Myrnski was surrounded by the people who love her. No one should be alone on Christmas Day. To say she will be missed is such an understatement.
Our Christmas 2010 was not what we expected but nonetheless we made it into what we wanted. A day dedicated to being together. There was a break in there for the little ones naps, but other than that we were together. It was how it was meant to be.
Much love going out this year. We have a lot of it give.

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

Its Christmas Eve morning and my family is still sleeping. I have time to myself before the craziness of this and the next few days, begins. I am sipping coffee and Baileys (shocking, I know) and eating a nanaimo bar. Whatever, its Christmas.
We are taking the time to be grateful this year. To appreciate that all that we have is because we work hard to get it and to keep it this way. We also appreciate that it can all change so quickly. We are taking the time to actually be grateful, not just say that we are. We are surrounding ourselves with the people we love, and being grateful for having them in our lives. I don't usually get sappy about things like this, instead I just go and be with the people I love and be grateful in my heart for having all that I have. This year, I feel the need to talk about it. Maybe its the fact that I saw Myrna yesterday again, and I said good bye for the last time. Her last words to me were bon voyage with a small wave. I choked back heaving sobs so I could say good bye to everyone else, but when I got in the truck...
Maybe its because its Christmas and I love this time of year. I am all about the season, the visiting and cookies and coffee and wine and food and all the visiting. This is the second year in a row that we will wake up at our own house, just us, on Christmas morning. Last year we talked a lot about what we wanted to make into fun traditions and this year its grown into something more. Just like I imagined it would... by the time Maizey is a grown-up I imagine there will be so many traditions that she won't even know which ones she wants to keep for herself and her own family. We've tried to incorporate some from my family and some from Brians, all while making them our own. Some are non-negotiable, like Eggs Benedict for breakfast, others there is wiggle room. We are getting there. This year we added new plaid p.j's for everyone to wear on Christmas Eve. If nothing else, it makes for cute pictures!
I remember Christmas morning when I was a kid, with a whole lotta warmth in my heart. I remember the one year my parents tried to get away with no Eggs Benny and Tyler losing his shit over it. Us Hickey kids takes our Eggs Benedict very seriously. Its funny now, I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time. I remember Christmas Eves with Ron and Trudy, appies, Clam Chowder, opening one present (always the one from Ron and Trudy) and staying up late. Thanks Mom and Pat for making such fun traditions and memories!
My family is awake now and we have a busy day ahead of us. I always say I am going to be more organized, but again, I wasn't. That means we have wrapping, cleaning, cooking and crafting to do.
Merry Christmas Friends! Wishing you all the best!

For My Myrna

2010-12-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to write all week. We are still in the midst of the Great Purge of 2010... things always seem to take longer than planned around here. Its getting there. We also had to do some shopping... so that took up two days. We tried to squeeze in some family dinners and coffee dates. We did a little crafting (and got to use the air stapler... after an incident with the air nailer, I threw in my official gun... but the stapler is much easier for my small, girl hands to use!). I will post pictures - there's lots. Maybe tomorrow.
Then the weekend came and my small world has come to a halt. A screeching halt. I was so not prepared for this. Brian has a small family, like four first cousins kind of small. Most of his family lives right here in town. We see them at the grocery store, out for lunch and for whole family dinners often. His Aunty Myrna is iconic, not only to us, but to many in town. She is Brians great aunt, but shes young. She walks a little fold up bike around town in the summer, wearing crazy big brimmed hats to keep the sun off her face. She usually wears purple and can be seen in Coopers a few times every day. She has coffee and lunch out with different people almost every day of the week. I have coffee with her almost every Friday morning, along with Brians mom and another friend. We call it Mothers Day. She always buys Maizey a cookie. If Maizey and I are up early on Saturday mornings and want to let Brian sleep in, we call Myrna to go out for breakfast with us. We always go to Main Street and if they have Black Bottom Cupcakes, we eat one before breakfast, just because we can. If I eat left over pizza or chinese food, cold, first thing in the morning, I always call her and laugh about it. We're the same that way. Myrna loves my girl more than most people. She tells me that Maizey is an old soul and that she is going to do great things in her life.
Myrnas body is riddled with cancer. A month ago tomorrow, her birthday, she came over for coffee and complained that she couldn't sit at the kitchen table because it was too high and it would make her swollen feet worse. I teased her that she was such a whiner. Yesterday she found out that there is no treatment. It may be a day, it may be a week, or even a month, but it will take over.
I haven't stopped crying all day. I saw her tonight, she held my hand and told me not to cry.
Right now, tears are all I have.

On Tree Hunting

2010-12-11T21:33:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, we ALWAYS cut down our tree. We lived on a farm that was chalk full of the most perfect Christmas trees you have ever seen in your life (well, at least that's how I remember them). My mom would suit up all five of us kids, we would sit on the back of the feed truck while she drove to the river, we would trudge through the sometimes lots, sometimes a little snow, singing Christmas carols and scouting out the perfect tree. My dad wasn't always with us, so Mom would have to cut the tree. As we grew up, I think my brothers took over the honors. We would drag it out, load it up and take it home. That seems like a fairy tale way to get a Christmas tree now.
Theres' so much snow here, that trudging through it means you would be up to your eyeballs. If you didn't take the time in the Summer or Fall to find the perfect tree and draw a map to it, well... good luck. My first five years here, I MADE Brian continue my life-long tradition of tree hunting. Our house was (and still is, but pre-reno days) so small that we couldn't fit a real tree in here, so our quest was always for a little two foot high, the more Charlie-Brown the better, kind of tree. Last year, Maizeys first Christmas and our first year in our newly totally renovated house, Brian refused. He insisted that we would buy a fake tree. I insisted that NO, in fact we would NOT be buying a fake tree, and as long as I am around and able bodied, we WILL be getting a real one. I of course, won. But I did have to go get the tree myself. My father-in-law came with me, and the two of us scoured the 40 acres. After a few hours, it was becoming clear that even though they are considered some sort of tree farm, there are absolutely no good Christmas trees on the whole place. We finally found an OK tree, the only problem was that it was at least ten feet tall. We decided to cut it down, then cut the bottom six feet off. Sounds like a good idea right? Well, it wasn't. We got it on the ground, but rather than cut the bottom half off out there, Brian's dad wanted to drag the whole thing home, then cut it off, so he could do something with the bottom half. Brilliant. Like I said, snow up to the eyeballs. Oh, and I should mention that when the tree was 10 feet in the air, it looked small and perfectly shaped, nice and full with good branch distribution. On the ground, it was none of those things. We drug the behemoth tree home, cut off the bottom and laughed at ourselves trying to get the god-awful prickly thing into the back of the truck (which it was TOO BIG for!!!). I would have been fine with a Charlie Brown tree. This was much, much worse. It was at least 6 feet wide and the branches were so long they hung straight down. I tied (with the help of Jane) the bottom branches to the ones above using fishing line. The needles were so sharp we only hung half the ornaments. I heard I told you so at least a hundred times. I was this close to losing the battle.
My friend Stacey wanted a real tree too, but didn't want to go cut one. So she bought one of those reasonably priced, really cute looking trees from the grocery store. I kid you not, it was the most perfect tree I had ever seen. And all she had to do was drive downtown and buy it.
So that's what we did this year. Guess what? Its the second most perfect tree I have ever seen in my life.I didn't have to pull out the Christmas tree hunting boots, or even lift a finger.

I just got to watch!

(that's his are you shitting me? just open the effing tailgate... face)

One thing led to another when we got home and so, the Great Purge of 2010 began. There was no place to put the tree and no way to re-arrange the furniture so it would look good. So we decided to get rid of the bakers rack. Which meant we had to get rid of most of the crap on it. etc, etc, etc. Our house is now down two garbage bags full, 3 boxes, half a desk, and a bakers rack. Day two is over. This purge will not end until my house is clutter free, if its the last thing I do.
After close to five hours at it today, we called it quits and headed downtown to the Santa Clause parade.
We met up with some friends,

Maizey wasn't a fan of Calvin, the horse, I mean dog. I, on the other hand, really liked him. And that says A LOT because I pretty much, don't like dogs at all.
We sipped hot coffee, ate shortbread a la Chelsea and Stacey, and watched the floats go by.

I love our little town (technically city, but whatever). We celebrate every little thing. The turn out isn't always great but I think we always deserve credit for trying. The energy downtown, the running into our friends by chance and standing and laughing with them the whole time, the driving around afterwards looking in peoples windows, I mean, at their Christmas lights, going out for Sushi after. I love it all.

Thanks to all our fantastic watching the parade friends and to those that weren't there (Ang and Paola!!!) - sad face.

Was About Christmas - Now Its Just Pictures

2010-12-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

We are getting in to the Christmas Spirit, slowly but surely. The outside lights are up (no thanks to my husband!!!), the tree is in the house and has lights on. There are some, but not all, decorations out. We will bake cookies soon and try to get a few people crossed off our list with some home-made craftiness. Wish me luck on that one.
The goings on in our house as of lately...
(in a quick scan through the photos from the last week-ish, I noticed they are ALL of Brian and Maizey... apparently this was a daddy-daughter week!!)

And a christmasy-decorationy one for good measure!

Happy-getting-ready-for-christmas!

The Same But Different

2010-12-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

I think my girl is pretty cool. Obviously I'm biased. But for real - shes one cool kid. Missy knows what she wants and she is determined to get it. I like that. I admit, there are times I can't effing stand it, but for the most part, I think it makes me proud.
I've recently been comparing her day to day life to a choose-your-own-adventure novel. We are so totally alike on one hand, we like to get up early, we both feel the need to argue when someone tells us not to do something that we really want to do, we get bored easily then bother the people around us by letting them know just how bored we are. Shes a mini-me in looks. But on the other hand, we are totally different. I spontaneously plan adventures for us, all the time. We decide what to do on a minute-to-minute basis usually. Plans change in the blink of an eye, we are crazy like that. Shes always up for the adventure "Maizey, you want to go to Nana and Papas and feed the chickens?" "yessssssssss", as am I. Its the part of the adventure that we each find the most thrilling that differs. I think the chickens coming close and trying to pet them, and listening to them and watching her learn that's where the eggs she had for breakfast came from, is the exciting part. For her, the chickens aren't reallllly the adventure, its more the, how close will I allow the 'puppppyyyy' to get to me, before I freak the hell out and panic and scream for my mamamamamamamama....till she picks me up, then I wave at the 'pupppyyyyyy' and laugh... on the way to see the chickens, that's thrilling.
Today was a beautiful, blue-bird day. Cold, but beautiful. We got bundled up and headed out for a walk and a coffee with the newly back to town, Chelsea. The being in the fresh air, the view, the people we meet and nod with a smile at, the coffee and visit... those are what I enjoy about the walk - the being in the here and now with my girl. Maizey... she prefers the 'how many times will Mama pick my mittens up off the ground when I throw them, before she takes them away and lets my little hands freeze' part. And the 'If I kick my legs hard enough the well tucked in blanket will fall off and get dirty, I wonder what she'll say' part. Oh, and don't forget the 'I love my winter boots, I would wear them all day in the house if I could, but since it's -7 out here, I don't think Mama will like it if I take them off, so I think I will do it, just to see if she cares' bit. The one I drew the line at? When she took her socks off. Frost bite - that's not a joke. I did take the mittens away, and the blanket, but I put the socks back on AND the boots. I tried to run, but the coffee made me have to pee... and I don't need to explain to you what happens after you have a baby and your bladder is too full and you try to run. Its just not a risk I am willing to take, ok? Frost bite or not. Needless to say, we both had fun, just for different reasons.
I will keep on letting her choose her own adventures. She doesn't listen when I tell her to sit down on the oh-so-adorable-but-very-unsteady-round-chairs, but she learns when it falls over and she lands on her back, bumping her head on the coffee table on the way down.Maybe the adventure should have been more in the sitting and watching Dora, than in the trying to climb up and turn the lamp off.
She laughs and she makes me laugh, even if it is through clenched teeth sometimes.

Corbin And Maizey

2010-12-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

These two really like each other. In a brother/sister kind of way. Maizey annoys the shit out of Corbin. She adores him and wants to be close to him, hugging him, all the time. They don't fight, they just pick at one another. This video shows it perfectly.

On Potty Training - Sort Of

2010-12-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer - this post is about pooping. If you don't wish to read about Maizeys pooping excitement, then don't bother reading any farther.
Big day around here, today was.
1) It all started about a week ago - Maizey learned to say Pee. I don't think we taught her per-say... like, we didn't practice it repeatedly until she started saying it (like Chicken - which she still won't say), she just one day started saying it, over and over again. And she totally knows what it is, because when I catch her in the bathroom, she says 'pee?', as though that would make me let her stay in there or something.
Anyways, so that got me thinking, maybe I should just try sitting her on the potty. But we didn't have a potty, so I just sat her on the toilet and held onto her. She thought it was great, we sang songs, laughed, she said pee-pee a hundred times and looked between her legs. But nothing really came of it, as in, she never actually went pee-pee, she just liked to talk about it and sit there.
On Monday I got her a little potty. Tuesday morning the first thing we did when we got up was put it all together. Maizey thought the box was really fun until it was all put together, then she was all about the real thing. We tried sitting on it - I think she thought she was on a real throne, because she just grinned like a fool and giggled. We stripped her down and had a grand old time playing with it. A few more times through out the day she sat on it again. Last night at bath time she sat on it with no clothes on again, for 10 minutes at least. She didn't want to get off. I eventually got bored and stuck her in the tub - first thing she did? Pee. Awesome.
This morning after breakfast I took off her yogurt and peanut butter covered p.j's and sat her on the potty. Again, we sang, laughed and played... next thing I knew - she was totally going poop!!! She wanted off in the middle of it... I distracted her (thank god!!) until she was finished. As soon as she heard it hit the bottom, she started panicking 'uh oh uh oh uh oh' and climbed off as fast as she could. She turned to look inside and when she saw what was in there, started bawling her little eyes out saying 'uh oh uh oh uh oh' .... I cheered and clapped and told her I was proud of her!!
Did this same thing happen to anyone else?? Can someone please let me know what I can expect now for potty training??
After lunch, I tried again... stripped her down, sat her on there and wha-la - Pooped again!! Not nearly as much freaking out the second time... just a few 'uh oh's' that were only slightly frantic.
We really had no intention of "potty-training" this early... we just thought that since she seemed mildly interested we would just try to get her comfortable with the potty...
I don't really know where to go from here. Maybe try to stay casual, not make a big deal out of it, if she wants to sit on there, fine, if not thats fine too.
Its so exciting - the thought of not changing diapers anymore sounds pretty damn good. But no more diapers means shes a big girl... and the thought of that is slightly terrifying.

2) Because it hasn't really stopped snowing for almost a week, I decided I'd had enough of being couped up (why I waited so long I don't know), so we busted out Maizeys new and really really cute snowsuit, bundled up and went out to play.
Snow+ A One Year Old = Pure Enjoyment. Until her mitt fell off... then it was just the end of the freaking world.

Today was good. Life is good.
Keep your fingers crossed that I don't have to change a poopy diaper tomorrow either!!

Slippery

2010-11-28T22:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, in this house, its all about the little things.

I have given pairs of these slippers for countless baby shower gifts. I love them. They stay on, they are warm, they have cushion-y bottoms so they are comfy and they have the perfect amount of hippy-ness to them, that you look a little granolaish, but if you aren't a granola at all, you will still love them.

For some reason when my own baby girl came along, I didn't think to get her a pair. I don't know why, because I seriously love them. Not in a weird way. Just in a, its the middle of winter and we will stay wickedly warm and still be practical all at the same time kind of way.

So this weekend, Maizey got her first pair of slippers. And guess what... She loves them just as much as me. This morning as I picked her up out of her bed, I cuddled her and whispered in her ear brrrrrr... its cold this morning, do you want to put our slippers on and cuddle 'till we get warm? She smiled her still sleepy smile and said yessss!!
SO that's what we did!

We all got new slippers this weekend. And we've been toasty warm because of it.

Happy slipper wearing weather to all of you!

Long Winded Wednesday

2010-11-24T21:32:00.000-08:00

You know that old saying, something about you think clear when your house is clean, or some crap like that? Well, I think it might be true. I mean, its hard to say right now, because my house is not clean, or organized, or desirable to live in. Coincidentally, I don't seem to be thinking very clear right now either, so I think the two might be related. If only I could get my head clear, I could get to work on the uber-huge job we started, and get the house cleaned and organized. But I need to get to work on the uber-huge job we started and get the house clean and organized so I can clear my head. You see the problem??
This is what I woke up to this morning:

Let me explain - I wanted to make coffee. (Notice the coffee left in the pot from yesterday...)

I needed to move yesterdays spoon out of the way, because I obviously didnt put it in the dishwasher when I was finished with it yesterday. But where should I put it? Last nights dishes were piled really really high in the sink, unwashed of course, leaving very little room for more to be added, and the dishwasher was full of clean dishes, but I certainly wasn't going to empty it, just to put a stupid spoon in, before I had a freaking cup of coffee, so I left it.

The peanut brittle just lays there, taunting me all day - eat me eat me eat me... I don't want to eat it, but I cant just let it sit there like that. I mean, its open... I don't want it to go bad. So I break a small piece off, about 15 times a day (notice the crumbs). Yes, I had peanut brittle before I had anything else this morning.

The tape measure. I shouldn't even get started on it. Does that look like a home for a tape measure??? Not even a little bit. I'm trying to prove a point with that one. It will stay there until I die.

The paint chip. We went to the hardware and took every brown one they had, only to realize when we got home that we didn't like any of them. They are scattered all over the house, because it turns out they are Maizeys favorite thing to play with. All 25 of them. For some reason I cant seem to throw them away.

The party shades. Those have a home, right beside the other two pairs, in my bedside table. But when we got home last week we let our suitcases lay on the kitchen floor, at the top of the stairs, waiting to go down and be unpacked, for *ahem* a few days. But we needed a few things over the course of those days, out of them, so they got opened. Which meant Maizey got into them. SO among other things, the shades got pulled out (and worn), but never put away. The small business Christmas party is two weekends away, I will need them for that, so chances are that they are going to stay there until the party.

My birthday card from Chelsea is under there.

A lone Maizey Rae sock. Dirty of course, where else would it be?

Jute twine for an upcoming Christmas project. Its supposed to go in the junk draw, but it wont fit.

Brian's kindle cord. I don't even know where that's supposed to go, but I can say with certainty that its not supposed to be on the kitchen counter.

My travel mug. I picked it up to move it and it still had coffee in it. I took a small drink just to see... it tasted fine, so I think it must have been recent.

The tire wrench for my stroller. If I get a flat tire while running, I don't think I am going to find it very handy, sitting on the counter. I don't even know how it got in the house???

An open bag of sour patch kids, from Brian's work bag, that Maizey found and brought upstairs when my parents were here looking after her. I hate sour patch kids. I only eat them every other time I have a piece of peanut brittle
.
A note pad. Well that just makes good sense, having one handy.

The flash for my camera, that I don't even know how to use.

Two finishing nails. Again, just proving a point.

There are four things you cant see in the photo - a mini shoe horn from the hotel in Mexico, a handful of change (36 cents to be exact), a twist tie and a tube of Burts Bees. And this photo has been strategically cropped so you cant see whats on the bar above the coffee pot. Let me assure you, its equally as frightening.

We started the major over haul of Maizeys bedroom this weekend. It was supposed to take 3 days, but we are already on day 5, and nowhere near being done. Its on my mind constantly - I am always thinking of a new, fun thing I want to add, so I start on it, forgetting the other bazillion things I have on the go already. For example, I have this idea of getting a photo of Maizeys legs, in pink tights, wearing her tutu, with a white background, then making it into a big canvas. So operation legs photo started shortly after coffee this morning. But she wasn't even a little bit co-operative and I was trying to be patient and understanding about the fact that shes only one and really doesn't give a shit if I get a good photo of her legs in the super cute pink polka dotted tights, but my patience was wafer thin.
It resulted in this:

She was trying to be helpful (I think) by bringing me my plate from the coffee table. I tried not to make a big deal, because I didn't want her to drop it. She was SO close, I almost had my hand on it, but then she tripped over the stand of the fan that's still sitting at the door waiting to go out to the shed. This was the result. She was scared and I was annoyed.
I listened to myself be miserable for only a short time longer, before I told Brian I needed some me-time. He agreed. I pulled out my favorite toque (to hide the fact that I hadn't washed my hair in two days) and left. I sat and had a coffee in peace, read the paper, listened in on adult conversations that didn't use the words poop, crying, diapers or teething. I was only gone an hour, but I came home feeling like I could handle the day a bit better. I spent the rest of the day trying to be present and happy. I did manage to get some good photos, I cleaned (ish) the kitchen, scoped out flooring for the basement and tile for the kitchen, cooked a delicious dinner, played fun games with Maizey in the bath and read Goodnight Gorilla at least ten times before putting her to bed.

Brian went back to work today for the first time in three weeks (Gotta love holidays!), so he should be home tomorrow. We will attempt to make some serious head-way in Maizeys bedroom. All of us in one bedroom has gotten old realllllly quick.
But for now, I have free range of the t.v! Ohhh, the possibilities are endless!

(this is the face we get when we say 'smile' or we pull out the camera!! She slays me!)

The Big Switch

2010-11-22T21:37:00.000-08:00

We have finally crossed that threshold. The one that's been dangled in front of us for months now, that we felt like we would never get to. Maizey has FINALLY gotten to the TWENTY POUND mark!! Its taken almost four months to get that last pound in... but today - at exactly 14 months 25 days old, she weighs in at a big old 20lbs 9ozs - the size of an average 10 month old. We have waited somewhat patiently to be able to make the big switch. You all know what I'm talking about... the day we all wait for and anticipate with much excitement. Ok maybe not all of you out there, but we sure as hell did. The day we could finally turn the carseat to forward facing! wooo - hooooo!!!! We didn't even wait until we got home to make the switch, Brian did it right there on the street, THAT'S how excited we were!!! Maizey? There was no big reaction, so its hard to say how she felt about it, but I like to think she was screaming with excitement on the inside!!
So, its a big day around here. We celebrated with an early lunch (of leftovers) and a slightly longer nap. Obviously, that was more Brian and I celebrating and Maizey getting the unbelievable short end of the stick. Sorry Missy, I promise the next time we celebrate, it will be all about you!

When In Mexico

2010-11-20T09:22:00.000-08:00

We did it. We got in the truck at 4:30 a.m, drove to Calgary, got on the plane and left our baby girl for EIGHT whole days. And you know what? We not only survived, we rocked it. We par took in the all day "free" drinking and eating, laughed with new fabulous friends, and re-connected with old friends that its been far too long since we saw.

I bet no one even noticed that there was a tiny little ache in me the whole time that desperately wanted to share every amazing and wonderful and cool and different thing there was to share, with Maizey, but it was there. There were times I barely noticed it, and then there were times, like say... the middle of dinner in a crowded restaurant of crazed all-inclusive go-ers, looking for more food, that quiet tears streamed down my face.

But we did it. I had this crazy, irrational fear that Maizey was going to forget who I was. I was worried that when we got home, she wouldn't want to come to me and would cry when we tried to bring her home. But there are no words to explain her excitement at not only seeing me, but just hearing my voice and seeing my face on the computer *ahhh the magic of the Internet and skype!!* . She literally tried to climb into the computer while saying UP UP UP!!! She couldn't understand why I just wouldn't freaking pick her up. It made me so happy to see her and hear her voice and see that she remembered me (duh OF COURSE she remembered me), but it also broke my heart just a little to see her and hear her voice and see she remembered me, but NOT be able to pick her up. Apparently Maizey also rocked the no-parents week. So much so, that when I thanked my mom and dad for coming here for the weekend, giving Brian's parents a break and taking her home for a few nights, they both said No, thank you for letting us look after her!!! I don't know who enjoyed it more, them or her?! Maizey now supposedly says Grannie, even though I am yet to hear it, and Brian's parents taught her to say Hola!!! She hasn't quite gotten it - its more an "oh oh oh", but we know what she means!! So needless to say, we are happy to be home and are finally getting our life back in order.
Our trip was amazing. We ate, drank, lounged, weddinged, ate, drank, laughed, shopped, zip-lined, and ate and drank. There were 50-ish of us there for the wedding and we had a blast. We were all there for the same reason, to watch Cartwright and Cary get married, and all the love and happiness for the two of them sure shined through.

WOW - those two sure know how to throw a party. I missed the delicious taco bar because I was too busy cutting a rug on the dance floor. Seriously. All night. Apparently there were 24 tacos consumed by one person and I missed it all!! The wedding was unbelievable. It was like a scene out of a movie... a long dramatic entrance down about a billion precarious steps, leading to a little cliff overhanging the ocean, where pink rose petals were laid down the isle. The sun was just beginning to set, there was a warm wind blowing and everyone was beaming. And to top it all off - there were dolphins (yes, DOLPHINS!!!) jumping in the bay just below while they were reciting their vows. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Brian and I had SO much fun. Thank you Cartwright and Cary for having us on a such a fantastic trip! Seeing and being a part of your special day was truly an honor.
And thank you Cartwright for the amazing photo shoot.

(my favorite photo from the whole week!)

The laundry is done, the house is back together, we are rested from our vacation (boooo, 8 hours in the Saskatoon airport realllly took a tole on us. As did arriving in Calgary to the first blizzard of the year and driving in it for 5 hours to get home.
We are happy to have gone and had such a blast. And we are happy to be home with our little family unit back together.

Wordless Wednesday - The Beautiful Bride

2010-11-17T22:24:00.000-08:00

I cant seem to un-jummble my mind to get a decent post written.
I want to write it all down, so I dont forget even one moment of Cartwrights big day, which was unbelievable - like a scene out of a movie really, but everything I write is boring, and not turning out how I want it to.
So I will go with a few photos instead, and hopefully tomorrow I will be able to settle down enough to write something meaningful and worth reading.

or black and white? I cant decide!!

So, with that - I will sort out some thoughts and try to post tomorrow. Between loads of laundry, playing with Maizey and probably shoveling us out, I will do my best.

Hola... I Mean Adios. I Mean Beer.

2010-11-07T01:04:00.000-07:00

In 2 hours I have to get up. I can't sleep.
Remember how I whined about my baby girl being gone for ONE NIGHT???
In precisely three hours from now I am leaving her, for EIGHT NIGHTS. To go to Mexico. To see one of my besties, Cartwright, get married.
Holy eff am I excited to be going... all I can think is - all inclusive baby... I don't have to pay for even ONE beer. Well it doesn't get much better than that.
But Holy eff am I freaking out too. How do people do this? I bawled like a five year old that wasn't allowed to eat candy after she brushed her teeth (which I know now makes good sense, but believe me - at 5... I thought that was bull shit) when I was putting Maizey to bed tonight. She in turn, knew something was wrong, and also freaked out. It was not the normal nightly routine, where I put her down with a big smile on my face, and skip up the stairs breathing a heavy sigh of finnaallllyyyyy. I knew I was making it worse, but I just wanted to keep snuggling her and crying. I finally had to say one more bye baby girl, I love you, and leave the room. She needed it too. After that she was fine.
I know she is in good hands. Better than good - perfect hands. She is safe, she has people who love her more than anything that will be taking care of her, she will have fun and it will be good for her too. Its just... hard.
BUT - I am off to some super hot weather, at a beautiful resort, with some of my most favorite people. So I will get over it. I can miss my Missy and still have a fantastic trip. I can laze on the beach, eat spicy Mexican food, drink beer, swim in the ocean and relax all while knowing that I am still a great mom and that I deserve to have a vacation. Maizey knows how much we love her. We know how much we love her. So we will miss each other for the next week and then we will come home and love on our baby girl like no other little girl has ever been loved on.
Until then... adios amigos!!